r/TwoHotTakes • u/imdrinkingapplejuice • 5d ago
Update: My supervisor met my boyfriend and now she wants an HR meeting Listener Write In
[removed]
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u/Lost-and-dumbfound 5d ago
I asked if that also applied to the staff member who reported it in the first place, since they went onto a corn site. Jan said that was irrelevant, that the meeting was about me, not the other staff member
Jan can't do that coz that staff member is Jan lol. She can't set up a meeting with herself. Good luck escaping!
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u/Stonewhisperer1942 4d ago
So if a staff member told them then they subscribe….. so you can’t associate with someone but another staff member can ACTIVELY pay for a sub???? Make it make sense.
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u/QuiteAlmostNotABot 4d ago
Classic religious bullshit: sex workers should be punished and ostracised.
The clients? My, they're respected members of the Church! They can absolutely feed the system because, you see, they're in the good group. They're not the filthy sex workers. Those are the deviants.
It's called hypocrisy, I believed.
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u/VioletReaver 4d ago
And one step further, they’re the victims of the shameful filthy sex workers! They were taken advantage of! That’s why sex work is evil, it tempts good godfearing people from His embrace! /s
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u/Blog_Pope 4d ago
Someone needs to call and report Jan for looking at lewd videos. I’d report that HR lady up the chain as well. Ideally a parent you are close too.
Granted I’m an atheist who be happy to see these sanctimonious villans outed, happy to look the other way when leadership misbehaves and sins but quick to out others.
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u/zeroconflicthere 4d ago
Jan is the one recognising him. How else could another teacher resort him by his description.
Op should not sign it and go back and ask Jan how she recognised him. State that she witnessed Jan recognising him and that none of the other staff members know or had seen her BF
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u/Kismet237 4d ago
Plus OP’s original posting stated that Jan had a horrified expression on her face when she met OP’s boyfriend. So yah, Jan recognized him.
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u/CaroleBaskinsBurner 4d ago
It was even better than that.
She first asked if she knew him from somewhere because he looked familiar and then looked at them horrified when she saw them again a little later. Lol
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u/Ok_Leader_7624 4d ago
She won't admit it. She will just repeat that it was brought to staff attention and they can not name anyone. We all know it was her, and if anything disciplinary happens, I'd make sure she goes down too. I'd 100% tell my side of the story. What a fuckin hypocritical two faced bitch that Jan is.
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u/babywhiz 4d ago
Welcome to religious school politics. My daughter went for her high school years for sports. I was a single mom of 3 kids, not actively dating, just working and raising 3 teen girls (one with autism).
One of the moms would rag on me all the time about not being worthy of being at the school. All the time talking shit about us, how ungodly we were. How a mother should never have children out of wedlock (she had 4).
I ran into her 3 years after graduation. I asked how her husband was. She flippantly says, "Oh we weren't married, but I never let THEM know that!".
I just shook my head and walked away.
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u/indiajeweljax 4d ago edited 4d ago
I’d threaten to hire a lawyer. (Edit: GOOD GRIEF, people. I phrased it this way for a reason. Snaps to you all for just doing it. Good for you!)
It all comes out in discovery.
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u/Empty_Ambition_9050 4d ago
Threaten? Workplace attorneys will take this in for free cuz they know they’re gunna get paid.
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u/Zephyrs_rmg 4d ago
Sadly, in religion based private schools in the US, they have legal exceptions to discriminate based on any religious doctrine. I lived near Liberty University for about 7 years and heard stories similar to or even worse than OPs at least once a month.
Honestly, OPs story is tame compared to a lot that I've heard from there.
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u/Coal_Morgan 4d ago
Didn't Jesus hang out with a prostitute named Mary for a chunk of his life, also wasn't the Apostle Paul a murderer of those who followed Jesus originally. Judas was a thief. A handful were Zealots (at the time being called a Zealot meant you murdered Romans for politicial reasons),and were considered terrorists before they started following Jesus.
Me thinks Jan doesn't actually care about hypocrisy.
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u/therealwoujo 4d ago
The Bible never says Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. That's a libel some random Catholic priest came up with centuries later.
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u/The_Mechanist24 4d ago
It’s theorized that Jesus actually married Mary Magdalene
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u/spideyghetti 4d ago
She probably IS having a meeting with herself, with her phone in her other hand
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u/MoeSauce 4d ago
"So, to be clear, these rules apply to me but not the other staff? Just want to be clear on this when I talk to my lawyer."
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u/Ok_Leader_7624 4d ago
I wonder if OPs bf can see who subscribed to his only fan account. I'd look for her name on there. Or anyone else they know.
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u/Ok_Recover_5226 4d ago
Can you see who subscribes to your BF’s OF and cross reference with an email list to id someone?
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u/NotSlothbeard 5d ago
You missed your opportunity to ask Jan in front of HR if she ever figured out where she knew your boyfriend from, since she said he looked familiar to her.
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u/ArcticPangolin3 5d ago
That would have been the perfect "oh by the way" parting shot.
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u/Flimsy-Car-7926 5d ago
"BTW Jan. My bf says thanks for your monthly subscription."
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u/Ok-Mushroom-8153 5d ago
On that note, seriously—can he check if the principal is a current/past subscriber?? I don’t know the website layout for OF but the principal is sus af and deserves to be outed if allllll of this is because she’s a sub.
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u/Flimsy-Car-7926 5d ago
No idea how OF works. But if you could look I definitely would. Blow it up.
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u/SleepingWillow1 5d ago
Get another job first. put in your letter of resignation and report to HR that the principal is not a valuable representative of the religious school and put in a complaint.
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u/Rosemoorstreet 5d ago
I’d go a step further. I’d sue them for forcing me out and having a double standard. Pretty sure they would not want the publicity of their Principal’s behavior going public. First she’d have a really tough time lying under oath and risking perjury charges. Secondly discovery can be brutal. Your lawyer could definitely subpoena her credit card statements to prove her actions. And who knows what else comes up when that happens. My point being is I have no doubt they would want to arrange a very quiet settlement with you.
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u/4E4ME 5d ago
Your lawyer could definitely subpoena her credit card statements to prove her actions. And who knows what else comes up when that happens.
Oooohhhhh, I am here for it!
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u/Nola-photo 4d ago
Yep. This hear. The Churches are used to paying out hush money. But you usually need to show damages. Consult an attorney and have them read your contract for a "mortality clause."
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u/AfricanusEmeritus 4d ago
For sure. I agree completely. They are playing for keeps, but have probably gotten away with it before. The OP is not the first one. However, you can be the first one that takes them down.
A good lawyer will make them want to " disappear" this quietly and discreetly as soon as possible.
Don't be surprised if the principal gets some medicine about being forced to resign. Once a lawyer gets involved, the knives will be out for the principal. There are always rivals in the wings ready to pounce.
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u/Emesgrandma 5d ago
First find out how she knows the bf and how she knew to go on his OF site? That may be something the school board, or whomever deals with her, would want to know! Is there any way to connect her to the site and that’s what she’s afraid of if she lets your bf come around or let’s you keep your job? I think this is coming from a very scary place for her! She may be the next one “putting in her resignation,” but not by choice! What does HER behavior say to all those Christian parents and kids?
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u/Quirky-Employee3719 4d ago
It's infuriating. I worked in a Catholic School. 2nd grade teacher was fired for marrying a divorced man. Frowned on by Catholics. The principal of the school lived in a different stare from her husband. They no longer lived together, but they didn't divorce. The teacher got a lawyer. After a couple thousand out of her pocket, she was told she had ZERO recourse. At will, right to work state, religious school, nothing could be done. There's no board! Lol. The appeal goes to the pastor. He was the final word. I don't know why people work for religious schools. Depending on the state, they have no rights. At will employers do NOT have to give a reason. They can just fire people. I understand every one wants to argue and fight. It's one of reasons why working people, unions and left wingers fight so called right to work and at will states. It's one of the reasons why corporations, religious institutions, and right wingers LOVE them.
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u/ErraticDragon 5d ago
OnlyFans users have a username, a display name, and a profile photo. Creators can see that information whenever someone purchases/subscribes.
You'd imagine that anyone with half a brain would use fake info in this type of scenario.
(OF itself gets your real name and payment info -- both Creators and Viewers -- but that's not shared.)
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u/Minoskalty 4d ago
Whelp Jan's will be the most recent one that cancelled their subscription...
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u/jennifer_m13 4d ago
Or she might not, to you know monitor the “situation” in case OP decides to participate in OF.
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u/Solace1nS1lence 4d ago
Choosing to participate in a video and then saying her name and that she hopes she enjoyed the view after she gets a new job sounds hilarious to me, no matter how potentially wrong it may be.
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u/Stardush 5d ago
He can check, but there’s always the chance she used a fake name to avoid being identifiable.
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u/Willing-Layer-4977 4d ago
And check if the ip address is the same as the schools public ip. Proof that Jan used school WiFi, computer to access the OF account.
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u/AfricanusEmeritus 4d ago
That's a BINGO. A good lawyer will dig this out. Often, people can't "control" themselves and will use a job account or job WIFI. Only use your own equipment on your own time. Never at work.
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u/CoClone 5d ago
I've seen enough TikToks of people talking about how creeped out they were when they see people that know them subscribe to guess that he can but just doesn't pay attention.
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u/colonellaserdick 5d ago
I remember a thread saying you could only find out if it said 'from your contacts' or something similar. Like the person had to be saved in your phone and, even from that point, you would have to do some sleuthing to match the user to the contact. Basically, the subscriber list is anonymous but there's a chance you can uncover one of your phone contacts. I think it's unlikely they could find the principal unless the principal has something identifiable in their username.
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u/CoClone 5d ago
I've seen them straight up say they can see the billing name so it might be a case of how do they pay
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u/iqgriv42 4d ago
ESPECIALLY if OP ends up getting fired because of this. If she’s going down, bring that lady down with her
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u/TheMaidSissy 4d ago
It is notable HOW the knowledge of your boyfriend’s OF account came about.
The story of the woman brought before Jesus “caught in adultery” stands out because only the woman was brought forth, not the man she was with. They wanted Jesus to condemn her, but it was clearly a set up, since the man (who may have been among the accusers) would have faced the same punishment.
This story should be well known to your religious school staff and principal.
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u/Dangerous_Warthog603 5d ago
I think that the BF should let OP go through all of his subscriptions and find out if there are any other people in the school participating in his work. That list should be brought to the meeting. I would also sneak in a couple of names (shhh). and see if any disciplinary actions are taken. You can also threaten them with public exposure of the list of names, blackmail of these institutions shouldn't be a real problem. Their moral high ground makes them need to protect their moral high ground. I've done it and it works (not for money but to get my kid out of AP Statistics- a story for another time).
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u/katiegirl- 5d ago
Yes, I think you and your boyfriend have a golden opportunity to turn this little religious school into the Harper Valley PTA.
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u/Blue_Eyed_Devi 5d ago
Oh Jeeze, I haven’t thought about the Harper Valley PTA in 30 yeats
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u/Joe579GoFkUrselfMins 5d ago
Well, whenever you want to tell that story, let me know.
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u/1000000xThis 5d ago
Also he definitely has records of her chat sessions with him...
Would be a shame if anybody ever saw those.
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u/Accomplished_Pop2976 5d ago
It was def Jan who made the report!
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u/Accomplished_Pop2976 5d ago
Also what are the freakin chances someone there just happened to subscribe to your boyfriends OF. Like HOW? OF is a site full of citizens! Do they let you search by area or something? Just the fact that someone on the first day of a new job, at a religious school no less just happens to subscribe to the OF account of your boyfriend?!
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u/1983Subaru 5d ago
Ngl, the religious school probably makes it MORE likely, not less. "Do as I say, not as I do."
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u/Goodgoditsgrowing 5d ago
What I can’t believe is someone outing themselves as knowing who he was. Unlikely his OF name was his legal name on his ID.
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u/1983Subaru 5d ago
But this concerned party is just worried about the school's reputation. They're spending time on nsfw OF so they know who to keep away from the kids! /s
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u/sammyglam20 5d ago
Can confirm. Went to a religious school and most of them are depraved and degenerate but it's very "hush hush" and behind closed doors.
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u/ObscureSaint 5d ago
Yep! Religious schools are full of perverts.
My Christian School loved to bring us girls to the bathroom and use a ping pong paddle on our bare asses. Pretty sure they were getting off on it.
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u/Ceret 4d ago
OP, I would absolutely ask your BF to see if Jan subscribes (or has in the last day unsubscribed) to his OF and then raise a complaint about how inappropriate it is for them to be online stalking your boyfriend’s OF and how uncomfortable that makes you feel knowing that your coworker has lust in their heart for your BF. Be sanctimonious as hell about it.
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u/OkGazelle5400 5d ago
And casually remind everyone that he knows the names of his followers lol
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u/brandt-money 5d ago
And if they do try to fire you, be sure to out Jan in a schoolwide email with the local newspaper reporters BCC'd.
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u/CuriaToo 5d ago
Has anyone on staff there even met your boyfriend? If they haven’t, they would have no way of knowing it was him when they “found” his account. Color me wrong! I thought the principal wasn’t the guilty part! Wow. Just wow!
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u/WilliamNearToronto 5d ago
This is the important point. Principal is only person who knew who her BF was. So she is the only one who could know her BF is on OF. Something to mention to HR after you find a new job.
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u/beastbossnastie 5d ago edited 5d ago
What HR?
It's a private religious school.Edit - I'm dumb
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u/NotSlothbeard 5d ago
What HR?
The Pam chick that OP referred to as “HR” in her post?
Whether Pam actually has HR certification or if she’s just an admin who took a few psych classes in college is another story entirely.
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u/Leylanormil 5d ago
You updated as I just finished the first post!! Than you Reddit Algorithm.
Seriously, I’m pretty sure it was the staff member that went wide eyed that recognized him. That’s so messed up. Hopefully your job search goes well if this school decides to do extra actions.
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u/AberonTheFallen 5d ago
Seriously, I’m pretty sure it was the staff member that went wide eyed that recognized him
You mean the principal? 😂 If they kept the names the same between the stories, I believe that's who it was...
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u/50ishnot-dead 5d ago
Yep, it was her all along…someone has extracurricular activities that may be of interest to the school as well!!!
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u/Emesgrandma 5d ago
Yeah, so HOW does she actually know this guy? What gave her the idea of stalking his SM? If he’s a sex worker and no one else told her that then I can only think of one other way she’d know!
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u/SleepingWillow1 5d ago
I wonder if the principal told HR she herself have seen him or if she just said "oh another teacher reported to me in confidence I can't say who" but what a hypocrite for her to do that!
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u/Leylanormil 5d ago
I wouldn’t be surprised if she lied to HR. Yes LIED because she definitely is the one to have paid for his OF services to recognize him like that 😭
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u/Bigstachedad 5d ago
If you read the original story, it was Jan, the principal who recognized OP's boyfriend from OF where you have to pay for a subscription to watch. So in a roundabout way she is paying a sex worker. She also lied when she said it was a separate staff member. Okay Jan, that's two strikes against you. OP needs to find another job stat. Religious school or not, what someone does outside of the school, especially a boyfriend, family member or associate of a teacher, has no bearing on her ability to do her job.
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5d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/wtfomgfml 5d ago
✨jorkin✨ is one of my favourite words, hadn’t heard it in a hot minute, so thank you for that lol
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u/Poppysgarden 4d ago
Is that an actual policy that they have in the manual they gave you or is this something that you can take up with higher ups? If it is about you then why is your beau being brought into the conversation.
If there are other members on their staff on OF they need to be reprimanded and/or lose their job. That holier than thou attitude is not without consequences for those who think they’re holier.
This person will get there own taste of medicine what happens in the dark comes to light.
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u/buffalorosie 5d ago
Can you bring in receipts to prove it was the principal?? I would, but I'm super angry on your behalf. This whole situation is such utter bullshit. Hypocrites!
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u/chatit75 5d ago
I mean kudos to her for having the self control to at least know what his face looks like. I would have assumed she would be focused only on something else.
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u/Zed1618 5d ago
Are there interactions between your BF and Principal that may "out" her as the reporting party? Willing to bet the school would be invested in the principal not being involved in being an OF groupie. Heck, maybe even go so far as to play a little loose with the truth. Odds are good the principal doesn't even know how exposed she may be. Use the leverage you can.
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u/Liberty53000 5d ago
I wonder if the bf has a list of subscribers/viewers that he can identify as the principal. Then maybe on your way out of the job, hand this evidence over to whomever (I'd suggest multiple people so it's not hushed) and say the only reason I'm leaving is because a viewer of corn tried to damage my employment/reputation for something that she herself engages in & is the only one who recognized him, I literally saw the aha moment on her face. I dont know if that's too petty, prolly 🤭
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u/ArtificialTroller 5d ago
OP could log their own anonymous complaint against the principle stating she was accessing pornographic materials on school property. She must have gone looking when she had the assumption. Perhaps IT can look at her web activity if she was dumb enough to do it on school computer.
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u/cre100382 5d ago
So a coworker recognized your BF for his online work and you are in trouble because you are dating him, but not the coworker who watches him?
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u/slackerXwolphe 5d ago
OMG that's ridiculous. I like how "it's about you" but not about "the teacher actually participating in the lewd act by watching said OF stream."
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u/websagacity 5d ago
Jan said the boyfriend looked familiar. Pretty sure it was her that was watching OF.
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u/Emesgrandma 5d ago
Hmmm, I wonder WHOSE computer she used to “look?” 😝
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u/cluelesscaito 4d ago
This is actually important, if she ducked away to go and check on a school computer there should be a record of it!
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u/Screw_You_Taxpayer 4d ago edited 4d ago
This is a good reminder that this 'Uno reverse card' that people think is so clever online, doesn't ever work in real life.
The school probably does not consider 'viewing OF' to be equivalent to 'Bringing my OF model bf to the school'.
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u/SlowMulberry5802 5d ago
Please ask your boyfriend to check his registry. The staff member must have purchased something to be able to recognize him. It's paying for such lewd behavior also an offence?? I'd out her so fast.
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u/WanderingAnchorite 4d ago
I'd out her so fast.
They clearly outed themselves and the school doesn't care.
The school is singularly focused on image.
You can crossdress around your house all you want to because the school has plausible deniability over unsubstantiated reports.
But if you go outside, the school has an issue because now they're scared what people may have real evidence of.
The school would only have an issue with the teacher watching OF if they were doing it at a Starbucks.
Classic Christianity: if your sin isn't visible, then who's to say it even exists?!
There's a whole book about this. hahaha
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u/Legion1117 5d ago
Additionally, since the school represented the church, the staff could only have relationships with people who upheld a dignified image
I either missed this in your first post or you neglected to mention this was a private school affiliated with religion.
You're screwed.
Start looking for a new job. NOW.
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u/Creepy-Candidate8669 4d ago
Lol yea. That was a HUGE piece of information left out of the original post. I wrote a larger reply above but her only option is to go scorched earth and threaten mutually assured destruction.
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u/k1p1k1p1 5d ago edited 5d ago
I love that you asked if they'd be scrutinizing your dad's online activity... Amazing.
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u/thedudeabidezzzz 5d ago edited 5d ago
Lawyer up!
They already said staff couldn’t be associated with someone engaging in those activities. That means you.
They will be looking for any excuse possible to fire you in the coming days/weeks. Get setup for a payday bc it’s private school not public. They will pay whatever it takes to not have it tarnish their image. But will try to bully you out w/o a lawyer on your side
Edit: OP please call out sick tomorrow and meet with an employment attorney. It’s for your own good and better to have setup and not need it than to not have it and need it.
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u/friendly-sam 5d ago
If it's a Church owned school, then they can be as hateful as they want. If it's public school then lawyering up would be a good idea. Also, the ACLU may be interested in helping out if it's public school since it appears you are being punished by association.
In addition, ask for the employee handbook that outlines the offense. If they don't have it written down, then it's a legal issue, even for a Church.
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u/Quirky-Employee3719 5d ago
As maddening as this is, it is true. I hate that it's true. OP you are going to get sooooo much incorrect advice from people who don't know the reality of working for a religion ran school. I am sorry to predict. With a teacher shortage do you really have no other options? I believe it is entirely possible that they will run you out by nit picking every little thing. My advice get out ASAP. It doesn't matter how great the kids and parents are. You have no rights here. Find work in a union school if you can It's infuriating!
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u/Bellowery 5d ago
Step 1: Leave the church.
Step 2: Join a union.
This is sound advice for many people.
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u/bumjiggy 5d ago
employee handbook
you mean... the bible? it's likely the church school hasn't read it
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u/camlaw63 5d ago
The Supreme Court sided with two Catholic schools in a ruling Wednesday underscoring that certain employees of religious schools, hospitals, and social service centers can’t sue for employment discrimination.
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5d ago edited 5d ago
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u/Lears 5d ago
Can almost guarantee there is a morality cause in OPs contract. Quite common at a Religiously affiliated school and they use it for termination all the time.
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u/camlaw63 5d ago
Actually, working for a religious affiliated school is not the same as working for any other employer.
The Supreme Court sided with two Catholic schools in a ruling Wednesday underscoring that certain employees of religious schools, hospitals, and social service centers can’t sue for employment discrimination.
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u/X-calibreX 5d ago
You dont need legal grounds for termination in a right to work state(i dont know where this is), it is at will employment. Find another job, why do you want to work there.
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u/crazywidget 5d ago
No, not all "private employers" are held to the same standards.
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u/xfjjxcxw 5d ago edited 5d ago
NAL but I think they mean wrongful termination so instances of termination like retaliation, discrimination, etc. Those laws would be equitable across public and private employment, I believe.
Edit: For the love of all things, I am not saying OP IS a protected class. I was saying that equitable laws of termination on the ground of protected classes exist in the public and private sector.
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u/YoureSooMoneyy 5d ago
It would be perfectly legal if she signed an agreement about this type of thing. It’s likely she did.
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u/AncientDreamscape 5d ago
If she signed a "morality clause" as part of her contract, the Church School has the option to exercise it.
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u/llywen 5d ago
These comments crack me up, because they’re written with such confidence. You have no idea what her local laws are, and it most likely is legal grounds for termination.
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u/slash_networkboy 5d ago
Church owned school, then they can be as hateful as they want.
I know what you mean, but there are actually limits, just a lot less of them.
Also the lawyer in this case isn't to win a case, it's to bully them into paying hush money to OP once terminated.
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u/dathomasusmc 5d ago
What state is OP in? What documents has she signed or been given concerning expected conduct of the staff? The fact this is a religious private school alone makes it unlikely she’ll have much recourse.
While I do agree it’s a good idea to talk to a lawyer, I think the way you phrased your comment is a little overboard. OP needs calm and rational advice, not someone trying to stir shit up over things that have not even happened yet.
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u/Content-Potential191 5d ago
She'd have to have some grounds for a lawsuit for that. An at-will employee of a religious institution isn't going to have much to sue over.
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u/Ok_Statistician_9825 5d ago
Church schools, private schools can terminate employment for any reason they choose. I’ll bet my paycheck someone leaks this to a parent who will complain so start looking for a job. Keep pushing the fact that someone engaged in using the OF site and was familiar enough with it to recognize your BF. That’s the only recourse you have. I’m sorry.,
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u/cornnndoggg_ 4d ago edited 4d ago
someone engaged in using the OF site and was familiar enough with it to recognize your BF.
This is the most important part. I am aware of how the site works, and by design, you cannot access, really any, content without intentionally interacting with each individual creators page. The most you would get without doing so is just a circle-cropped profile picture, which, if you gave me one cropped image of someone, there's no way in hell I'd recognize them in public. If someone could they must look at that pic pretty often.
So it's pretty much a given that this person is interacting with the BFs account, and enough that they would recognize the person in public. Wild that someone related in some way to the creator is more guilty of whatever they deem is the problem here than the person actively consuming the content.
edit: was thinking about this more wanted to clarify a detail: the "must interact before seeing content" rule also applies to free pages that don't have a monthly subscription cost, which means even if you didn't pay, you still have to actively interact. Also, it is extremely uncommon for creators to have anything in their banner or profile picture that is explicit content, which means that if this person knows there's explicit content, it means they 100% interacted with it.
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u/brandt-money 5d ago
I can't believe you updated this just as I searched your post history.
It sounds like you're fine as long as you didn't participate. Have him check his pics and videos. 😂
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u/Creepy_Addict 5d ago
I'd also have him check his subscriptions. Bet miss holier than though Jan is a subscriber.
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u/bumjiggy 5d ago
his next video should be him just repeating Matthew 7:1-5
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u/Creepy_Addict 5d ago
As someone who isn't religious, I am happy Google is a thing and your scripture is quite appropriate.
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u/stellastevens122 5d ago
For those too lazy to google:
Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For the judgment you give will be the judgment you get, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye but do not notice the log in your own eye?
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u/CurlyMamaNini 5d ago
OMG This!!! I'm a former paralegal that worked for an employment law firm. EEOC still applies to all employers, religious or not. I'm pretty sure this would be a violation of EEOC, as OP herself has never been in a video. If OP had, then they could terminate her based on a morality clause. But not because of the company she keeps, especially if he's never been convicted of any crime and she never brings him to the school again.
Get a good employment law attorney. The firm I used to work for represented the companies, and I can assure you, a religious school will settle for a large sum of money rather than let this kind of stuff hit the press. Get a list of his subscribers. Find EVERY SINGLE ONE that is associated with your school. Even tangentially. A student's parent being subscribed counts! Find ALL school employees and All parents that are subscribed to his page. Then, go in with that information and an attorney. Tell them you are willing to resign, but you demand a severance package of (insert RIDICULOUS amount of money here). If they don't give you a severance package, you will file a wrongful termination and EEOC claim against them, go to the news and social media with your story, and release the list of school related subscribers to the media as well (man I hope Jan is a subscriber!!) You likely won't get the initial ridiculous sum of money you ask for, but, that's why you ask for it SOOOO high; so when they try to negotiate and low-ball you, their counter-offer automatically has to start higher, just because your initial demand is so high.
Good luck, and go get them! Don't just roll over and take a new job! Take this one for every dime you can!!!
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u/The_Colorman 5d ago
Holy shit 4 minutes ago too. Same thing for me I was like wasn’t their some post yesterday I wanted to follow up on, and went through my saved.
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u/ESCALATING_ESCALATES 5d ago
Depends on their definition of “affiliation.” On its face it sounds like being in a relationship would equate to affiliation, which is obviously bullshit but religious schools gonna religious school.
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u/TurboFool 5d ago
Correct. OP is not fine by their standards. OP is very much affiliated with someone they're not comfortable with.
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u/Just_Really_Disliked 5d ago
Being in HR(in a facility that works with childrem), this is outrageous to me. It's probably best to fully read your handbook and consider talking to a laywer preemptively. If they want you fired it most likely won't say this is why, but for any other small outrageous reason they can find.
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u/Anarcora 5d ago
If her record is otherwise clean and has never been disciplined or officially coached prior to this incident, anything that follows could be seen as legally dubious.
Her recording the conversation is clutch.
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u/CollegeIntrepid4734 5d ago
No. It’s a church. They will definitely say this is why and then brag about how they fired the dirty corn sinner.
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u/Ginger630 5d ago
I’d tell him to look over his subscribers and find this staff member. If she or her partner are subscribed to your BF’s OF, then they are participating in lewd acts and are also undignified.
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u/PawsbeforePeople1313 5d ago edited 4d ago
I was fired once because my boss's husband and I were friends in high school 20 years prior and he had reached out on Facebook Messenger with an innocuous "congrats on the job!" and my response of " Thank you! You have a beautiful family now, crazy to see how we both have grown since high school!". 2 days later I was fired for vaping on my break away from the building in my car (as everyone else did and was ok'd by the employee handbook). I knew what was up and took it as a lesson learned instead of fighting it. I didn't want to work for a petty broad that was so insecure it affected my finances.
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u/Intelligent_Page_1 5d ago
Omg, I would have written him back and told him lol.
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u/PawsbeforePeople1313 5d ago
They divorced and he disappeared off of social media, I'm guessing it wasn't just me he was messaging, or she finally lost her mind because he was being a nice human to others that possess a vagina. One or the other.
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u/Beck2010 5d ago
“What’s interesting to me is there was zero issue with my boyfriend being present until XXX appeared to recognize him from his OF content. It seems to me that the staff member who brought this to your attention only did so because she had consumed OF content. At no point was his side gig exposed. At no point during his time in the building did her or I announce he did OF. But staff member recognized him. Matthew 5:28 speaks to this issue; in fact, staff member has now committed adultery by viewing his image.”
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u/sothisiswhatyoumeant 5d ago
Write this and definitely send a copy. It’s evidence and recap whatever else was covered in the meeting so they can’t lie either (even though you recorded it as well)
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u/noonnoonz 5d ago
The “staff member” must have subscribed to the BF’s page to view if his content was actually corn, or was cooking lessons, or tech, or even Bob Ross style painting. Jan has some esplainin’ to do.
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u/cornnndoggg_ 4d ago
by viewing his image.
use stronger words, viewing could be accidental or turned that way, "by actively seeking out his online content."
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u/andyroo776 5d ago
Well I would be advising HR to be running background checks on all employees' spouses, adult children, etc, as that is what your lawyer will be doing as part of the potential court case! Let's see what other skeletons are in people's closet.
And I would make sure HR and Principle know that if something happens that you will be blowing up about this and whomever was on your bfs of site! Great publicity if nothing else!
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u/No_Muffin487 5d ago
I assume you are already job hunting? Best of luck with that. Given how short most places are on teachers, sounds like they really fucked themselves.
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u/gooeyjello 5d ago
I wonder - does OF offer or log customer information like payor name that is also accessible to the OF account holder that was being paid? If so, it would be a great resource to use to have the reporter disciplined in the same way, since that would also mean that they too are 'affiliated'.
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u/Azazellea 5d ago
I don't think so, that would open up way too many avenues of abusing that kind of information. Like if you saw a subscriber you know irl, you could blackmail them.
Still though, this sucks. It sounds like they're fixing to fire OP u less she distances herself from him.
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u/RecommendationOk1708 5d ago
Thats insane how one can be fired for their spouses online activities, scary times we live in.
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u/TraditionalToe4663 5d ago
How can the principal allowed to look at OF without accountability? The double standard is nuts.
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u/thebutlerdunnit 5d ago
Not only that but clearly looked at it on school time with school resources if she was able to confirm so quickly and change her tone.
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u/UsedAd7162 5d ago
Wait a minute, what do they mean one report of your affiliation with him?? He’s your boyfriend. Like when they said he can’t come back, I’m like okay, whatever (religious/private school, not surprised at their rule)…..but the affiliation part sounds like they’re looking for any reason to fire you.
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u/iharvestmoons 5d ago
It basically sounded like they were demanding her to break up with him and if they’re seen in public together she can be fired. Wanting control over someone’s relationship outside of work is crossing a huge line.
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u/WebfootTroll 5d ago
Yeah, kind of sounds like they're telling her to dump his ass. If they're seen by Jan together in public or on socials, that could mean further affiliation. They're just waiting to pull the plug on OP's employment.
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u/frankie_lou 5d ago
I’m sorry you’re going through this… My partner was fired from his teaching job for a silly reason. We learned that if admin decides they don’t like you, they’ll find any reason to get rid of you. He started looking for a job before he was fired, had something lined up within two weeks, and adores his new job. Our good friend was lucky and has amazing admin at his teaching job and has loved his experience. All that to say, you will find a better situation soon 💕
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u/Goosesloose 5d ago
Don’t OF accounts charge people to “visit”? If so find someone to reverse search the people who have paid him for his service. If you find Pam’ name there, you have all the leverage you need!!!
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u/pitizenlyn 5d ago
Find that staff member among his subscribers and turn her in 🤣
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u/Phxhayes445 4d ago
I am a teacher. I don’t know where you live but I just want to remind you… the US has a teacher shortage!!!! Economics teaches us the law of Supply and demand. Teacher Supply is VERY low right now and the demand is still high!!! You will find a job quickly if you look. Yes even now. And if you find a job at a public school, join their teachers union. They will provide you with a union rep and lawyer if need, if anything comes up like this in the future!! I wish u all the best.
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u/No_Recognition_1570 5d ago
If it’s a church run private school, I think they will try and enforce their standards on you. You should have listed that the first post. While it still majorly sucks, it makes more sense how overboard they are going.
But I agree, whoever reported him had to be on his paid OF, so their ‘morality’ standard isn’t up to their code either.
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u/MonikerSchmoniker 5d ago
You aren’t going to be rehired next year.
And they will “look” for ways to fire you during this school year.
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u/tmg07c 5d ago
Former educator here and someone who worked in the education talent space.
One I am so sorry there’s this judgment being thrown towards you and your bf. If I can be helpful with anything at all- resume, cover letter, staying in classroom, moving from classroom to somewhere in the Ed space etc- I’d be happy to help you.
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u/armchairdetective 5d ago
OP, I'm sorry, but you work at a private religious school. They can absolutely fire you for this.
You need to find another job quickly. And it sounds like you won't get a good recommendation.
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u/xoLiLyPaDxo 5d ago
It's not just religious schools. My geography teacher in public high school in Texas was fired because she had alcohol in a locked cabinet in her home and a student who babysat for her brought it up to the school board because the student babysitter's family is southern Baptist and prohibits alcohol consumption so she said it was inappropriate to have alcohol in her home at all while leaving a 16yr old student babysitter in the house, even in a locked cabinet...
Yes, she was seriously let go over that. I was 16 at the time and the student who brought it to the attention of the school board made sure everyone knew exactly what was happening. This was the same student who was putting "Jesus died for you" pamphlets in all of our lockers. Shortly after this incident, the school started using the building for church services for her church after school and on the weekend.
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u/ihavewaytoomanyminis 4d ago
Religious schools have a "moral turpitude" rule that they're allowed to follow because they're religious.
As an example, if a co-worker showed up at a Catholic school (I used to work for one) with a car covered with super pro death penalty stuff, if a parent complained, that co-worker could be fired since the Catholic Church is anti-death penalty.
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u/SpoonFed_1 4d ago
You should have just denied everything.
"oh, I asked my boyfriend and he said that is not him. So I am not signing your paper, because it is a case of mistaken identity."
Even if they show you the images, "well, that looks like my boyfriend but he says it is not him, and I believe him."
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u/HarryInd2023 4d ago
You can report that the principal was watching lewd online acts, then she has to face HR, lol
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u/No-You5550 4d ago
I find it interesting that your school has a rule against having bf who does "sex work" but the staff and teachers are fine for paying for "sex work". Love the sin but hate the sinner. True Christian values.
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u/camlaw63 5d ago
Look, they can fire you for any reason. There is no legal protections. You can certainly out your principal to everyone and explain your side, and say she recognized him because she uses the cute. But you can be fired for being his girlfriend, sadly
The Supreme Court sided with two Catholic schools in a ruling Wednesday underscoring that certain employees of religious schools, hospitals, and social service centers can’t sue for employment discrimination.
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u/Independent_Bug_5521 5d ago
Why can no one see that is a child welfare policy if a parent does come across said account or a pupil and it become public knowledge he had been allowed on school premises there would be protests calling for action law suits and calms against the school this is a 60yr old man typing this not some gen z
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u/jmaneater 5d ago
They are probably going to fire you for not signing that acknowledgement form immediately. You need to find a lawyer and another job fast
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u/ladysnaffulepoof 5d ago
Look through his only fan subscribers. One of your coworkers, probably this Jan lady, MUST be in there. Save it for evidence if there is ever a wrongful termination suit
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u/Sabi-Star7 4d ago
At a school period, if your bf is affiliated with OF as no matter where you go school wise, it will look bad on you. A lot of jobs are terminating people for either being directly on OF personally or their S/O being on it (as someone "somehow magically finds it"). OF has ruined a lot of people's careers or jobs. Just beware of that in the future. I'm also willing to bet it was the principal as she directly asked if she knew him/recognized him....
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u/Coronis- 4d ago
She also said that if they receive one report from a parent, student, or staff member of my affiliation with him after this meeting that would be grounds for immediate termination.
I’m confused about this - are they saying if someone says you’re together they’re going to fire you? I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.
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u/ReftLight 4d ago
I know this is reddit, so religion=bad over here, but what did anyone expect from a religious school???
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u/CutDear5970 4d ago edited 4d ago
You work for a religious school. How did you not think this would become an issue? I’m sure you have a morals clause in your contract
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u/Own-Succotash2010 4d ago
You work for a private, religious school. Women have been fired for taking birth control at these types of schools. There’s nothing wrong with what your boyfriend does but surely you can see that the school would have issues with him if they found out?
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u/JarbaloJardine 4d ago
Legally...they are in the right. You're dating a sex worker of course they have an issue with you bringing them to school
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u/beehaving 4d ago
OP you’re missing the point, you teach high schoolers not college students, your affiliations with a “boy next door” portfolio is not a good addition to your job. People these days do creepy things online for a view or two so yeah his job ain’t kid friendly
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u/bjr4799 4d ago
If you work as teacher anywhere, please don't bring pornstars to work. If you work as a teacher a religious school please do not be surprised at this response.
I am will be surprised you choose to work here knowing very well the ethics and morals of religious people. Especially given they are entrusting you with their children.
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u/Rare-Perspective-962 4d ago
I was furious thinking it was a public school. Those religious schools do whatever they want. Not sure what religion teaches you to judge adults but the way those women threatened your job is not pleasing to any God.
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