You missed your opportunity to ask Jan in front of HR if she ever figured out where she knew your boyfriend from, since she said he looked familiar to her.
On that note, seriously—can he check if the principal is a current/past subscriber?? I don’t know the website layout for OF but the principal is sus af and deserves to be outed if allllll of this is because she’s a sub.
Get another job first. put in your letter of resignation and report to HR that the principal is not a valuable representative of the religious school and put in a complaint.
I’d go a step further. I’d sue them for forcing me out and having a double standard. Pretty sure they would not want the publicity of their Principal’s behavior going public. First she’d have a really tough time lying under oath and risking perjury charges. Secondly discovery can be brutal. Your lawyer could definitely subpoena her credit card statements to prove her actions. And who knows what else comes up when that happens. My point being is I have no doubt they would want to arrange a very quiet settlement with you.
IANAL - It’s not a true subpoena I don’t think, it’s called discovery. Once a suite has been filed I think they have to include that data in the discovery process.
Not a lawyer, but that is something that would probably come up in discovery. Any texts or emails about the subject, how they actually found out that he has an OF.
If the standard for unacceptable behavior at the school is "immoral associations" and JAN claims to "recognize" the immoral guy, it seems like a fair inference to assume she is a viewer and subscriber! How else would she know him?
Yep. This hear. The Churches are used to paying out hush money. But you usually need to show damages. Consult an attorney and have them read your contract for a "mortality clause."
For sure. I agree completely. They are playing for keeps, but have probably gotten away with it before. The OP is not the first one. However, you can be the first one that takes them down.
A good lawyer will make them want to " disappear" this quietly and discreetly as soon as possible.
Don't be surprised if the principal gets some medicine about being forced to resign. Once a lawyer gets involved, the knives will be out for the principal. There are always rivals in the wings ready to pounce.
First find out how she knows the bf and how she knew to go on his OF site? That may be something the school board, or whomever deals with her, would want to know! Is there any way to connect her to the site and that’s what she’s afraid of if she lets your bf come around or let’s you keep your job? I think this is coming from a very scary place for her! She may be the next one “putting in her resignation,” but not by choice! What does HER behavior say to all those Christian parents and kids?
It's infuriating. I worked in a Catholic School. 2nd grade teacher was fired for marrying a divorced man. Frowned on by Catholics. The principal of the school lived in a different stare from her husband. They no longer lived together, but they didn't divorce. The teacher got a lawyer. After a couple thousand out of her pocket, she was told she had ZERO recourse. At will, right to work state, religious school, nothing could be done. There's no board! Lol. The appeal goes to the pastor. He was the final word.
I don't know why people work for religious schools. Depending on the state, they have no rights. At will employers do NOT have to give a reason. They can just fire people. I understand every one wants to argue and fight. It's one of reasons why working people, unions and left wingers fight so called right to work and at will states. It's one of the reasons why corporations, religious institutions, and right wingers LOVE them.
That's a BINGO... Always get another position first, then drop the hammer. I have been on both sides of this, and I always welcome moving on.
I went as high as vice president and finally retired as a graduate professor. Religious institutions can be great places to work at, and it pays to know the parameters. Welcome, moving on and enjoy your life.
I also had a labor lawyer on hand ( not as expensive as people fear) on retainer for one of the jobs that I sued, and my lawyer obtained two years' salary from them.
Always retain every scrap of information. I doubled up on the job email by having it simultaneously sending all job emails to a private email of mine. Even the most trivial information is important to lawyers. Blessings and good luck, Original Poster.
Choosing to participate in a video and then saying her name and that she hopes she enjoyed the view after she gets a new job sounds hilarious to me, no matter how potentially wrong it may be.
No, she shouldn't do any sex work on camera.She should just hop on the OF and just be like Hi Kan now .I've left the school , I just want to say goodbye and howbypu were abgreat pinvipal until you dragged me into hr bc I was dating someone you follow on OF
Actually not a bad idea, Not saying to have Jan participate but.. he could have a facsimile of a Jan. I don't know the nature of his content but if he uses toys or things like that he could totally just name drop constantly and that could be the name that he drops.
You'd imagine but I was shocked to find out how many people used their real names and emails on Ashley Madison (that site for finding affair partners that was hacked some years back).
You can see who has subscribed but I would estimate that 95-98% of subscribers use aliases. Was talking to a guy on my OF earlier named “Mr. E” (how clever). My other two messages are from ZaddyWarbucks and No Pube. We don’t get access to any information other than their username when they sign up.
That's a BINGO. A good lawyer will dig this out. Often, people can't "control" themselves and will use a job account or job WIFI. Only use your own equipment on your own time. Never at work.
I've seen enough TikToks of people talking about how creeped out they were when they see people that know them subscribe to guess that he can but just doesn't pay attention.
I remember a thread saying you could only find out if it said 'from your contacts' or something similar. Like the person had to be saved in your phone and, even from that point, you would have to do some sleuthing to match the user to the contact. Basically, the subscriber list is anonymous but there's a chance you can uncover one of your phone contacts. I think it's unlikely they could find the principal unless the principal has something identifiable in their username.
No more so than a vendor on Etsy having your details. In both cases it’s a vendor client relationship regarding the sale of legal goods/services. In fact you can buy adult stuff on Etsy too.
It's a vendor customer relationship thing with OF just being the marketplace to my understanding. I made my account years ago and remember acknowledging some type of release to that affect it's been awhile though lol.
That happened to me once on a Guardian newspaper online comment account I had in 2018. A former bipolar patient of mine fancied herself as some type of online detective.
I stopped posting immediately once she told me she recognized me. It was innocent and filled with left-wing politics. I did not want that or any patient or person to have such an unencumbered view of my personality.
I contacted as many of the online commenters that I could that I was close to. The patient was heavily into right-wing politics and kept trying to bring it into our sessions as a "gotcha." I ended my professional relationship with her ASAP.
Lesson learned not to put too many identifying aspects i to your posts. Be as circumspect as possible. Once on the net, you have no control over who sees anything.
It is notable HOW the knowledge of your boyfriend’s OF account came about.
The story of the woman brought before Jesus “caught in adultery” stands out because only the woman was brought forth, not the man she was with. They wanted Jesus to condemn her, but it was clearly a set up, since the man (who may have been among the accusers) would have faced the same punishment.
This story should be well known to your religious school staff and principal.
What if like… she had a daughter that dated him or something?? That’s the only other way I can think of as to how in tf she knew. They’re 25 and 26, wonder if the principal has children of similar age. Or if it’s a small town. So many questions!
Because also, if she subs to his OF, wouldn’t she have recognized him immediately? Rather than first saying he looks familiar before she realized?? Spicy stuff!
Not sure the legality of that in the US but anywhere in Europe that would be beyond hella illegal and GDPR would have a field day. From a legal perspective if he were able to confirm for sure that she was a subscriber he wouldn't be able to do anything with that data.
I think that the BF should let OP go through all of his subscriptions and find out if there are any other people in the school participating in his work.
That list should be brought to the meeting. I would also sneak in a couple of names (shhh). and see if any disciplinary actions are taken. You can also threaten them with public exposure of the list of names, blackmail of these institutions shouldn't be a real problem. Their moral high ground makes them need to protect their moral high ground. I've done it and it works (not for money but to get my kid out of AP Statistics- a story for another time).
I might be overestimating Jan, but I'd imagine no one with half a braincell would use an email with their real name or any other identifiable info as an account in OF.
I actually don't know how payments are made to OF, but I suppose the money goes to OF first, then to the content creators, so they don't need to expose who's paying or not (unless they do?)
They wouldn't let her out of the class when she asked in the first week of school (she had another AP class plus she had her extra curricular activities in her senior year) My wife didn't want to deal with it and I found out in December. The poor kid was miserable and the bad grades were dragging her other grades down. The principal didn't want to let her out so I got the state standards for private schools, went through it and found what they were missing. Highlighted the missing stuff and emailed it back over Vaca. Never said a word about letting her out of the class, just sent the list.
When they came back in session, they let her out of the class and negated the grade on her record.
I wanted a no-show A (that means don't go to class but get the A) my wife did not want me pushing too hard against their morals. Eventually you hit the wall and they push back. So I got her out and left it at that. I do take pleasure in that victory - they were smug and indifferent to my child's stress situation.
I have friends who know people in the school and they have had preferential treatment. That also drove me to get it done.
It also can work for money and settlements as well. The OP's career there is finished. However, the vistas of life are now open to her. Go forth and move on. Make them pay, though. 😉
If I'm not mistaken, they do protect the names and personal information of the subs on that site. It's anonymous unless you use your information yourself.
I could be wrong but I think I read thar information somewhere.
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u/NotSlothbeard 6d ago
You missed your opportunity to ask Jan in front of HR if she ever figured out where she knew your boyfriend from, since she said he looked familiar to her.