Last week my gf cut her extremely short. Its not even a pixie cut but more like a buzz cut that suits a teenage boy. She already has some masculine facial features and now she just looks like a dude. I know hair isnt everything but long hair framed her face nicely. Now she looks looks a lesbian.

AITAH for thinking like this? I guess its on par with how some women dont like dating bald guys.

I am F18 and I come from a big religious family. I am also religious (not stating my denomination)

I started college this year and realized that things aren's quite what I thought. I finally allowed myself to think the thoughts I suppressed while living with Mom and Dad and told myself that I never liked their preferred candidate (the orange man).

They are mad at me and say that voting for Kamala would betray their family and also be an affront to God, because God loves the other candidate and supports him.

AITA for betraying my family and acting against God's will and voting for Kamala?

throwaway because my friends know my reddit. So I'm in my first year of university at a well-ranked university with a non-insignificant international student population in North America. The program I'm in is especially competitive, so there's quite a few international students, who pay international tuition, which is, as you can guess, significantly more than local. Anyway, I'm brown, but my family's been in this country for many generations (since the sixties). I say brown rather than South Asian or Indian because prior to coming here in the sixties, my ancestors lived in several countries across East Africa & the UK, so there's lots of other stuff mixed in. Similarly, where I grew up is pretty diverse, so when people referred to themselves as Indian, it was likely that their parents had grown up/been educated there and immigrated, and therefore had a real connection to India that I don't. I look Indian, though, and in the past I've never taken offense to someone assuming that I am. I usually just go with, "Not really," or "it's a long story" or an equivalent. I tell the whole story sometimes, it's not a secret or anything, but to me, it's not a part of who I am or how I want others to treat me.

Which brings me to today. There's a girl in one of my classes--she and I sat next to each other in a lecture and talked briefly the other day. She's international from India but currently lives in Dubai, I think. She asked me where I was from, to which I just said that I grew up about an hour away from where our university was, thinking that that was what she meant (i.e., I'm not international). Today, she came up to me and said something along the lines of, "By the way, before I forget to ask, what is your ethnicity?" I just said, "It's kind of complicated, not really a big deal," and she said, "No, no, I must know."

I blew up at her a little bit. I said something along the lines of how that wasn't an important question here--nobody cares where you came from or what ethnicity you are or what your caste is or was or whatever. I wasn't loud or anything--anyone walking by wouldn't have thought we were having anything but a regular conversation. When I told my best friend (whose parents immigrated a few years before she was born) later that day, she told me what I said was unacceptable and rude.

My view is that I think the only justifiable reason that knowing someone's ethnicity could be important is if you're looking to share common ground with them, and I had already made it clear that whatever my story was, it was different than hers. I also demonstrated that it wasn't important to me, which means it shouldn't be relevant to her? If she's just curious, it's none of her business; if it is (as I suspect) a reason to sort of categorize me or prejudge me in any way, then she damn well shouldn't do that. I'm not going to pretend that my view was "oh I just educated her about cultural differences lol," although I recognize that that might be a more accepted question to ask where she's from? At the same time, I feel like this veers into a) a you-don't-belong-here type attitude, which is obviously not right; b) a my-western-culture-is-superior type attitude; and/or c) a clearly hypocritical view--"here in the West, we're historically and currently systemically racist but at least we're nice enough to assume your race instead of asking outright." I also worry that this is self-hating brown person related (i.e. could be viewed as I'm whiter and therefore better than you). I also think it would be different if, like, she asked me four times and every time I put it off before I blew up instead of just twice? IDK. Reddit, what do you think?

Hello Reddit. I am coming to you for somewhere to look honestly. I’m just in so much shock I don’t know what to do anymore. I (39M) have been married to my wife, Clarissa (45F) for almost 19 years. 14 years ago, we welcomed our baby girl into the world, Kate. Me and Clarissa both grew up Mormon and were planning on raising Kate under the same morals. We were an incredibly happy family full of love until around Kates twelfth birthday. She started keeping secrets, little lies that we’d catch her in. It was never anything too serious but enough to spark some concern. I made sure to try and redirect her by telling her that the bishop is always open to talk and the church is there for her as well. Eventually she stopped lying as much as she did, we were finally able to trust her. Things took a turn for the worst when she sat me and her mother down for a talk. She told us she was 7 weeks pregnant and she didn’t know who the father was. Me and my wife were shocked. I didn’t know what to say or how to address the situation, unfortunately my wife was already talking before I could even wrap my head around what was happening. My wife demanded to know who the father was and through many tears, my Kate finally told us. It was a boy she met at church months prior who had recently left for a mission. I was willing to hear my daughter out, I was willing to push my religion aside to give her the option of what she wanted to do with the pregnancy, but my wife shut it down. She said abortion was absolutely not allowed and it would not be happening. Kate started sobbing profusely, begging her mom to please change her mind. However Clarissa is a very stern woman, she doesn’t change her mind so I knew the decision was made. That night after I made sure Kate was sleeping, I climbed into bed next to my wife so we could talk about what was going to happen. I told her that Kate deserves the choice like any other woman, but she wasn’t having any of it. She told me it wasn’t right and the church completely goes against it. I was going to fight for Kate harder but Clarissa just shut me down and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up before everyone in the house. I made the girls breakfast and after Kate left for school I sat my wife down. I told her that I couldn’t support her decision and if she couldn’t give Kate the option, we needed to divorce. She lost her mind and went crazy, screaming throughout the house and throwing things at me. I left for my brothers house and have been here since. I’m not sure what to do anymore

I (26m) met Amy (29f) online 6 weeks ago. She was the one who messaged first. Her profile had listed her as 187 lb at 5 ' 9 and her pictures showed that. She also had braces, glasses, and acne. She told me that she currently lives in a different state but she was moving back to my state in 2 weeks.

4 weeks ago I met Amy and I almost didn't recognized her. Of course braces can't last forever. And a lot of women do the surgery so they don't have to wear glasses anymore. And acne can clear up. But the biggest difference is that she got down to 139 lb. I didn't bring up how she looked different from her pictures.

1 week ago Amy, expressed her frustration with how she always has to be the one who initiate sex. She said I was so horny for her on that site but my behavior after we met in person doesn't reflect that. I told her she looked different in her pictures. She said those pictures were from 2 years ago and that she had a glow up. She said she wanted a guy who would like her at worst.

I told her I still like her and I want to continue seeing her. I told her I think we have a real emotional connection. I told her that my profile did state I wanted a chubby geeky girl who is a big fan of cartoons and video games. She said but she looks hotter now and that I shouldn't be complaining. She said she now has the look guys want. I told her that maybe she has a very narrow view of men. She asked if I'm saying she's ugly and I told her I think she looks cute. I told her that chubby geeky girls are really my thing sexually. I told her that I like her personality and that I will make more of an effort in the bedroom.

Amy is still upset about what I said. I keep trying to apologize and telling her that I still like her. I told her I just needed some time to adjust. I haven't brought up the fact that I felt catfished to her. I think that would just make her feel worse. Am I the asshole ?

I (30M) have been married to my wife (28F) for three years, and we just had our first baby about a month ago. The birth was very traumatic for her—it was a long, painful labor that ended in an emergency, unplanned C-section. She was awake during the procedure, which has clearly been very difficult for her to process. I feel terrible about what she went through, and I’ve tried to be supportive.

However, ever since we brought our baby home, my wife seems completely detached from him. She doesn’t seem to want to hold him, feed him, or bond with him in any way. She’ll do the bare minimum, like changing diapers or giving him a bottle, but she just seems... absent. When I try to talk to her about it, she either shuts down or brushes me off, saying she’s tired or recovering, which I get, but this feels different.

What really made me consider leaving was an incident that happened recently. I walked into the nursery and found our baby under a blanket, clearly struggling to breathe. I rushed over and pulled the blanket off, and thankfully he’s fine, but my wife was just standing there, staring with this blank, empty expression. She didn’t move, didn’t react, didn’t do anything to help. I’ve never been more scared or shocked in my life. When I asked her why she didn’t do anything, she just said, “I don’t know.”

I know she went through something incredibly traumatic with the birth, and I want to give her grace to recover. But at the same time, I’m scared for our baby’s safety, and I’m feeling like I might need to leave to protect him. I don’t want to abandon my wife when she might be struggling with something serious, but I also feel like I have to prioritize our child’s well-being.

AITA for thinking about leaving her because of this?

Edit: I didn’t expect many comments on this post, but I want to thank those who did give advice. I realise now that I may not have been as educated on postpartum depression or mental health issues related to traumatic births. After reading your comments, I’m definitely looking into it more. I plan to talk to my wife about it, and we will be taking further steps, such as contacting mental health services or visiting the GP for help. I want to make sure we both get through this, for her sake and our baby’s.

Thank you again for the advice and support.

So... I read the comments on the previous post. I realized that I was an AH. I realized that having the right to do something doesn't make it morally good. I came to the realization that if my ex-bf (John) had done anything like what I did and when he did it, I would be incredibly upset as well and would have broken up with him.

I texted John and I told him that I was sorry and I wanted to give the relationship a second chance. This time, I would care about his sexual and emotional needs more and he won't have to care about mine anymore. I told him that I blocked David and that he is the only one I want in my life. He texted me "Its too late. I found someone who is doing this stuff with me and actually wants to. Maybe go unblock him and see if you can cater to his needs."

At this point, I was in tears. I told him that I don't know how he could have done this so soon after the break-up. And his response was the same one I gave him. "It doesn't matter who I did it with because we were over." My heart sank and I cried for the past few days.

I messed up. I messed up the best relationship I've had because I was too concerned about protecting myself and I neglected my partner's needs, no matter how much he catered to mine. He has not blocked me and I haven't blocked him. I drove to his house and dropped off the clothes that he gave me. I was tearing up and he just looked at me with no expression on his face and said "Thank you" and closed the door.

Edit: At the time of breakup, me and John were official for 4 months

I would like to fully explain myself, please read everything before giving an opinion

1)For starters I'm not one of those guys that doesn't like their partner wearing revealing clothes but would follow Instagram models. I only follow friends, family and some random accounts that I find entertaining

2) I have never told her to not wear something however I do express that it makes me uncomfortable any time she does and she just gets angry

3) When she gets drunk she tends to forget who her boyfriend is and what is and isn't acceptable to do with other people

4) "I dress like this for myself, I'm not intentionally drawing attention" this is something that's said quite often now why I mention this is because I ride a motorcycle and she's hates that I do as she believes that every girl is attracted to me however when I use her logic, as in a ride for myself, it's a hobby and I enjoy it she says that's different

What I am asking is do I have a right for it to make me uncomfortable and would I be an asshole if I broke with her for it.

Edit: I would like to add, point 1 was added as when I was looking up online if it was acceptable for me to uncomfortable alot of posts came up like "why do so many guys not like there girl wearing revealing clothes when they follow Instagram models"

Edit 2: although clothes don't make her cheat, it does mean she gets more attention

I'm a 33-year-old woman, and I have a younger sister, let's call her Emily (31F). Growing up, I've always had issues with my body image. In my teens, I developed bulimia, which I battled for over ten years. I've been through two inpatient treatment programs, and while I'm in recovery now, it's still a daily struggle.

Emily has always been naturally thin. She's 5'1" and barely over 100 pounds without even trying. People have always admired her petite frame, constantly telling her how tiny and adorable she is. When we were kids, our grandma used to say she was the "beauty of the family," which made me feel like I was the ugly one. I remember once when I was about 15, overhearing some relatives saying how they wished they had Emily's figure and how unfortunate it was that I took after dad's side of the family.

I've tried to talk to Emily about how these comparisons affected me growing up. I told her that constantly hearing people praise her figure while ignoring or subtly criticizing mine contributed to my eating disorder. She usually just shrugs and says she can't help how she looks and that I shouldn't blame her.

So, last weekend, Emily and I went out to dinner with our husbands. She's seven months pregnant with her first child, and I was genuinely happy for her. I asked her how the pregnancy was going and if she's struggling with her body changing. When I was pregnant with my son, I gained more weight than expected, and it was really hard for me. People would make comments like "Are you sure you're not having twins?" which really hurt.

Emily just smiled and said she's not struggling at all, that she's thrilled to be pregnant and loves watching the baby grow. She even mentioned that she's hoping to keep some of the weight after the baby is born because she feels more filled out. I felt a mix of frustration and jealousy. I told her that it was really tough for me during my pregnancy, and that she might not understand because she's been skinny her whole life and hasn't had to deal with the negative comments that come with weight gain.

She got defensive and said that she has her own struggles, like people assuming she has an eating disorder and feeling insecure about her small chest. She said I shouldn't dismiss her problems just because they're different from mine.

I admit I got irritated and said, "It's hard to feel sorry for you when you've always been the one everyone admires." She then said that I'm being unfair and that she can't help how people treat her. I told her that it's hurtful to hear her complain about her body when I've dealt with so much because of the constant comparisons to her.

Then she snapped and said, "It's not my fault you had an eating disorder, and it's not fair you're taking it out on me." That really stung. I felt like she was completely dismissing my feelings and putting all the blame on me.

I got up and told my husband I wanted to leave. We left the restaurant, and I haven't spoken to Emily since. My husband thinks I should reach out and try to talk things through, but I'm still hurt by what she said.

Some additional context: Growing up, Emily and I were always compared. She was the petite, delicate one, while I was taller and more "solid," as some relatives would say. In high school, boys would always flock to her, and I felt invisible. I remember one time, a boy I had a crush on asked me for her number. It crushed me.

When I was in the depths of my eating disorder, I felt so alone. I tried to reach out to Emily for support, but she seemed oblivious to what I was going through. She was busy with her own life, and I felt like she didn't care.

I know it's not fair to blame her for my struggles, but sometimes I wish she would acknowledge how her actions and words affect me. At dinner, when she brushed off my concerns and made it all about her own "struggles," it felt like she was minimizing everything I've been through.

I'm not saying she hasn't had her own insecurities, but it's hard for me to sympathize when she seems to have had it so easy in areas where I've struggled so much.

So am I the asshole for getting upset with my sister and leaving the dinner? Should I reach out to her and try to make amends, or wait for her to apologize?

I (25F) work in an office, and there’s this unspoken tradition where people bring snacks to share on Fridays. A few months ago, I brought in these cookies that everyone loved. People raved about them, and my colleague, "Laura" (30F), even called them “life-changing.”

Now, ever since that day, Laura has been pestering me to share the recipe. I’m not a professional baker or anything, but these cookies are a family recipe, passed down from my grandma. I don’t feel comfortable sharing it. It’s special to me and my family, and part of me feels like if I give it away, it loses its charm. I’ve tried to gently tell Laura this, but she won't stop bringing it up, saying it’s “just a recipe” and “not a big deal.”

Last week, she even said I was being petty and that I should “pay it forward” since she’s always shared things with me. But the truth is, I’ve never asked her for anything specific like a recipe. It’s causing some tension in the office now, and some of our coworkers have hinted that I’m being dramatic for not sharing something that makes everyone happy.

AITA for wanting to keep this one thing to myself?

My sister was planning her wedding and initially invited me to be a part of it. However, after a disagreement about her wedding plans, she decided to disinvite me. I was hurt and chose not to attend the wedding even though my parents are pressuring me to go. AITA for standing my ground?

During the pandemic, my brother turned into a total COVID conspiracy nut. Anti-vax, jail Fauci, Plandemic, Died Suddenly, ivermectin, Bill Gates is microchipping the vaccines, etc... All of it.

After me and my family got the vaccine, he told me that we were all going to die of heart attacks because the vaccine causes blood clots, which in turn cause strokes/heart attacks, and how could I knowingly put them through it.

I explained to him that the COVID virus itself can cause blood clots, and if you get COVID, the sicker you get, the higher the chance of blood clots. The vaccine was largely effective in keeping people from getting incredibly ill or sick at all. Therefore, not getting the vaccine was actually putting you at a higher risk of clots. He got pissed off at me "for believing the lies" and told me, "May the stronger man survive."

Over the pandemic he got COVID twice and pretty severely. He wasn't hospitalized, but he was really, really sick for two to three weeks, both times, and he felt like garbage for a couple of months after. I got COVID once, and it barely did anything. I felt like shit for a couple of days, and it was over.

Flash forward to a couple of weeks ago he's sending me political nonsense and I called him on it, and he said that "all the conspiracies were right", and that I was wrong. He added, "Even COVID was a hoax, and the vaccine was bullshit!"

Here's where I might be the asshole... I responded, "You're back on the antivax nonsense again? You had COVID multiple times and ended up having a stroke because of blood clots within a couple of months of your last COVID infection. Have you put two and two together yet? Listening to these bullshit lies made you sicker than necessary and gave you a heart attack."

He got super pissed told me it was because he took steroids in college and ate a bunch of peanut butter... Although we know if I had had a heart attack, it wouldn't have been because of my unhealthy lifestyle; it would have been because of the vax, but his was because of steroids 20 years ago and peanut butter. lol.

Anyway, we haven't talked since and my folks are saying that it was an asshole thing to say to him.

So, AITA?

I have noticed that most of the post replies on this sub have totally been biased based on gender. Which if reversed would be completely opposite. Is it just me ?

I (28F) got engaged last year to my wonderful fiancé, Ben (30M). We planned our wedding for June of this year and booked a beautiful venue that we both fell in love with. Everything was set, deposits paid, and invitations sent out.

My sister, Sarah (32F), found out she was pregnant in December. I was happy for her, but she and her husband had been trying for a while, and she was over the moon. Fast forward to February, and she tells me she’s planning a baby shower… on the exact date I’m getting married! When I asked why she would choose that day, she said it was “the only day that worked for most of her friends.”

Here’s where it gets worse. A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from the wedding venue telling me they had received a request to change the booking. Confused, I asked what they were talking about, and they told me my sister had contacted them, claiming there was a mix-up and that she was hosting a baby shower at the venue instead. They thought she was an event coordinator I’d hired! She had them cancel my wedding date, transfer everything, and even planned on using my decorations!

I confronted her, furious, and she brushed it off, saying I’m younger and will have more opportunities to get married, while this might be her only chance to have a big baby shower. She said it made more sense for her to have the date since “family comes first.”

Ben and I scrambled to find a new venue, but everything is booked, and now I’m seriously considering just having a small courthouse wedding. My sister has the audacity to ask if I can help her with the decorations for her baby shower, and when I refused, she called me selfish and accused me of not caring about her happiness.

My family is torn. My mom thinks Sarah’s behavior was out of line but says I should still be supportive because “she’s going through a lot right now.” My dad, however, is on my side and thinks Sarah owes me an apology.

So, AITA for refusing to help with my sister’s baby shower after she hijacked my wedding date?

I (32F) recently took a long-haul flight for a work trip, and like always, I booked my seat months in advance. I specifically chose a window seat in economy, which I prefer because it helps me sleep better on flights. I also paid extra for that seat.

When I got to my seat, a family of four (parents and two kids) was standing nearby, looking a bit distressed. The father politely asked if I could switch seats with them so they could sit together. The problem was, the seat they wanted me to switch to was a middle seat, several rows back. I kindly declined and explained that I paid extra for this seat and I really needed it for the long flight.

The father got a bit upset and said they had kids who needed to sit with their parents, but I still said no. Eventually, they found someone else to swap seats with them, but the whole situation left me feeling guilty because they kept glaring at me throughout the flight.

When I told my friends about this, some of them said I should’ve just swapped because it was a family with kids, while others said I wasn’t wrong because I had paid for my specific seat.

So, AITA for refusing to give up my seat for a family on the flight?

How does that sound?

Also if you want to be able to post about anything anywhere go to my Reddit Community the Gupta https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGupta/

So a coworker came to my desk once I got in this morning and asked if I could sign a condolence card they were passing around for a coworker who recently lost their brother. I was shocked so I asked whose brother it was. They tell me the persons name and I have no idea who they’re talking about. This person apparently works in our other building and I, still being relatively new to my company (only been here a year and a half) and having never directly worked with this person nor interacted with them, didn’t feel right signing the card. I’ve been asked before to sign condolence cards since I’ve been here and if I know the person, I’m obviously more than willing to sign because it feels personal. But in this situation - I don’t know this person. If feels rude to me, personally, to sign a card offering condolences to a person I’ve never even met. I overheard that coworker who was taking the card around telling a few of my other coworkers about this fact that I didn’t want to sign the card, saying things like “I’ve never heard of something like that” and “you don’t need to know someone to offer your condolence.” I can see why they would find it weird, but this is always how I’ve been. I even remember last year someone bringing a card around for someone who worked in the same building as me who had lost their grandson, but this person asked me first if I knew who the coworker was. Once I said no, they simply said okay and moved to the next person. I just wanted to know, AITA? Or should I have just signed the card regardless to how I felt personally about it? Something about the way this person was telling my other coworkers about how I refused to sign this card because I didn’t know who I would even be offering condolences to rubbed me the wrong way. I’m not a bad or cold person, I just personally would not want to receive a card like this from my job signed by people I don’t even know and who don’t know me. What do you all think?

Edit: I guess you guys are right. Just because I wouldn’t want to receive a card signed by people I don’t know doesn’t mean that’s how I should view the entirety of situations like this going forward. It just felt impersonal and fake to sign when I don’t know this person. I’ll definitely take y’all’s opinions into account going forward. I really am not a cold person, I just did what I would have wanted in that situation and I guess that’s where I went wrong. It’s not about me. A simple “I’m sorry for your loss” plus my name wouldn’t have been the end of the world. Thanks everyone for your words!

Throwaway account I made, since my wife knows my main account.

I (30M) have been married to my wife (28F) for 4 years and together for 7. We have always had an amazing relationship and pride ourselves on communicating openly and honestly.

My wife is a home health nurse for children who sometimes have lots of negative behaviors, like biting, kicking, scratching etc. She sometimes comes home with lots of bruises and scratches on her arms when she works with very difficult patients.

Recently she came home with a large chunk of her hair pulled out. It's about the size of a quarter towards the front of her hair. She explained that she was working by herself (normally the family is present or a behavior interventionist) and was attempting to provide care for this child. Apparently this child hadn't ever had hair pulling tendencies in the past and was calm until they were upset by something and pulled her hair.

My wife said she did what she was trained to do and leaned unto the pull while attempting to move her hand under the grip to get the child to release. By the time the family were back in the room and able to help she had lost this chunk of hair.

It looks absolutely terrible, and I feel absolutely horrible for my wife, but she seems unfazed by this and even suggested that she could go and get her hair cut very short to sort of blend it in. I am firmly against this. My wife has always had beautiful curls and it's one of my favorite things about her.

She says it's not my decision and that if she wants to shave her head completely bald she can and will. I told her that I would not go out in public or post her on social media if she cut her hair and she called me an asshole. AITAH?

So my husband and I just got married a couple years ago. He’s great and the sex has been really awesome. I really like him being aggressive with me and when it first started out he was timid about it, but I worked with him into doing a lot. I’m kinda freaky and I asked him to do a lot of things he wasn’t comfortable with, but we both really enjoyed, at least I thought.

We were on a drive and started talking about our sex life. He didn’t really seem excited so I pressed him. He admitted that he enjoyed things but he didn’t really always want to be in the lead. I asked him what he meant and he said it was hard being that aggressive with me all the time. He didn’t really want to humiliate me like that. I put it on him and told him to just tell me what he was into. He had a vampire fantasy. He wanted to be taken advantage of by a vampire girl.

Ok, so we’re not really gothic, he’s strait laced played football in high school. He manages a business. Like, we’re all American. So this was weird to me. Now I’ve made him role play some parts before. Like a fireman or cop who has his way with me. Ties me up, etc. I had him dress up like show or movie characters in the past. I didn’t have to act much, he would just manhandle me and I loved seeing him become the thing and it was fun.

So flash forward a couple days, I agree to try it out. We start, I’m dressed up being a vampire lady. Then I just can’t keep it together. I keep laughing and making jokes. I feel really stupid and embarrassed. He gets frustrated, and ashamed. We don’t have sex and he just goes to bed.

We talk and put it behind us, but I kinda feel bad, so I ask him if he wants me to just dress up, and he can dominate me as a vampire? He tells me the outfit and stuff was just part of it. He wants to be seduced and controlled. Like, he wants me in charge the way I am of him. I try to give it a chance without the costume and makeup, but I end up getting embarrassed again. I told him I don’t feel like I’ve got that whole appeal. I just tell him that we should just got back to the freaky stuff we know. Him having his way with me.

This is where things exploded. He got frustrated and told me that he hated our sex life. He said that he didn’t want to make it all about him overpowering me. I told him he got to do whatever he wanted so why is he complaining?? I said any man would love it. I may have taken some shots at his masculinity and told him that he should be a fan of the freedom I gave him.

He pulled up examples of things that he never wanted to do. He said that it would be nice if I took the reins and tried to be there for him. He said he wanted me to tie him down and sit in his face. I told him I felt silly, and he said claimed that’s how he felt. Why should I get everything I want and I won’t even try for him.

He left for several hours and then came home. I tried to talk to him but he keeps saying he just wants to be left alone. I feel really bad. I thought we were enjoying things and I like making him be freaky with me and do nasty things. I just feel really selfish, but I’m not sure how to get into the mindset to do things with him like that. I’m not like some aggressive sexy femme fatal. I feel awful, but I’m not sure how to give him what he needs without being stupid or embarrassed. Plus I’m now realizing that I made him do a lot of things he really didn’t like but he did to make me happy.

Edit: I’m not sure where people are getting that he expressed how upset he was with the acts. We had really nasty sex and I did things that I thought he would like. I really thought our sex was good for years. I feel like people are turning this into something it’s not. I got embarrassed, and reacted poorly. We are not breaking up and we are talking. I would talk to him about what I wanted in the bedroom and he was more quiet. I had no idea he had desires and no idea he didn’t want to be in charge. I should have tried to figure it out and been more patient with him, and with myself. I really do care about him and his feelings and I reacted like a bitch. I couldn’t quite figure out what was a boundary and what was me being dumb. I acknowledge my assholeness. But I want to overcome this and make him happy. A lot of people are sharing resources and I’m really grateful. It is opening up a lot of doors for me. I will be trying some things this week.

People who don't cook their food and eat their steaks any other way than well done (you know, retard, it's literally in the name, ''WELL'' done, not ''shit done''), why? Want to catch parasites? You're a fucking savage? A neanderthal? Cook your damn food, it's fucking anoying and a form of assault on me when I eat at a restaurant and need to see blood on your plate...

I (31f) am having an issue with my fiance (32m) with parenting my kids. I have three kids (14f, 12m & 10f). They are all at the age where hormones are coming into play and have their days of being irritable and having an attitude. I parent by talking to my kids about their issues but also be stern when I absolutely need to. My fiance who has never had kids and says I'm to easy on them. I was abused mentally, physically and emotionally as a child. My kids have been mentally and emotionally abused by their biological father so of course my parenting is "gentler" then others. They are good kids. AB honor roll, in sports and clubs, teachers always say good things, when we are out in public they are good. When we are in the comfort of our home is when they are themselves understandably. Fiance thinks I should take their stuff away and gets fed up with my oldest being gross. She showers every other day. Which to me it's a battle in choosing not to fight. She is showering at least. She has severe depression, anxiety and PTSD, so getting her to shower or do anything is a fight. We are in therapy and working through it together and have made great progress. He thinks she just needs to get over it.

My other two kids have autism and can sometimes be loud or say something they shouldn't. He gets on to them by telling them he is over them and to just go to their room. They cry and don't understand what they did wrong. I usually explain to them so they know for next time and for the most part they try not to do what they did wrong. It's a learning curve I understand but for him to undermine me and my parenting style when I have been doing it the same way for 14 years and he has just started 2 years ago is just not fair but he just doesn't get it. It's beginning to be a disruption in our life and I don't care for it. I am madly in love with him and this is our only thing we fight about. I will always stand up for my kids and they see him as a roll model that they adore so when he gets this way it hurts them.

So am I the asshole for telling him he will be following my guidelines and not his own?

EDIT: I read everyone's comments and was blown away with how many say abuse. I just want to clear some things up. One: my mother is the one who abused me my father rescued me from her when I was 13. Two: when my fiance does make the kids cry he does later apologize and feels bad for doing what he did. He is attempting to learn about patients with kids especially ones with mental issues. Three: I completely support my kids financially and he doesn't pay for anything for them I pay all the bills and groceries because I have a higher paying job that allows me to do so without his help. Four: I agree we all need therapy and I'm looking into it right now for all of us. Five: He agreed to do couples counseling before we even plan a wedding and we will see if that helps. If not I know I will need to leave because that is what's best for the kids. We have a lot more good days than bad days. Yes he does things I don't agree with but that's because I was so used to protecting and parenting my kids by myself in a 10 year marriage that didn't work for obvious reasons. My kids are in individual counseling that has been helping them work through all the trauma they have endured in their life and my two youngest how to function as a "normal" human being. It's been only 4 years of divorcing my ex husband and these things take time. I probably sound dumb to most of you but I see the good in him and he doesn't abuse my kids at all. It's trial and error that we are both learning together with this new family dynamic. Thank you for all your input though I do appreciate all the different options and made me definitely think about myself as a mother and make sure I don't end up doing wrong on my kids because of a man. I hope the couple therapy works and we can move past this coming out stronger as a family.

My girlfriend and i have been together for 7 months. She lives in an apartment on the first floor, and likes to have her windows and blinds completely open. During the day and night she walks around naked and clearly the neighbors across the street can see everything she is doing. I mentioned to her that it makes me uncomfortable that she doesn’t close them. Her response is that she doesn’t care and doesn’t think about it. AITA for telling her that i don’t like it? Now she thinks i’m insecure?

A family friend’s dog bit our child and it has permanently scarred their face. I’m infuriated and upset. I was and still am out of country.

Wife didn’t file a police report because the dog owner is a close relative of hers. And getting the police involved would be cutting ties with the family. Close knit family etc. I want the dog put down but it seems the owner is dragging his feet and trying to protect the dog. Dog has previous history of biting other people. This is in a one bite policy state.

I tried going through the wife to convince the owner to put down the dog so as not to burn all bridges with that part of her family but it seems I might’ve to get involved.

AITAH for thinking it’s their bare minimum they can do as the owner of the dog. The injury caused us great pain and trauma. I can’t imagine what our kid is going through internally. Saying things like they’re not pretty anymore. And worried about class mates making fun of the face.

I don’t want to lose too much time waiting as it’s been many days now and I think filing a late report will also weaken any chances of having them hand over their dog to the animal control.

Context edit: owner left his dog at home for someone else to take care of. My wife and kid visited their house. Dog was locked. Kid insisted on seeing the dog towards the end of their visit , as they love animals. Person responsible for dog was about to put a leash on the dog but it escaped and bit the child.

Edit 2: someone asked if owner agreed to any medical bills, no. Don’t even have the courtesy to call me. They talked to the wife and her parents though. I’ve a feeling the bills are gonna butcher us since we don’t have a good insurance. But I’m not even worried about that for now until they do something about the dog.

Alright, here we go. I (M29) have been friends with a group of people for a few years now, and two of them, Jake (M30) and Lily (F28), went vegan about a year ago. At first, I was totally supportive — I mean, everyone’s got the right to choose what they want to eat. The problem is, ever since they made the switch, they’ve become those vegans. You know, the ones who don’t shut up about it. Every time we hang out, they lecture us about the ethics of meat-eating, the environment, and how they’re living the moral high ground. It was getting unbearable.

Fast forward to last weekend, and I invited them over for a barbecue. I made sure to offer a vegan option, even though Jake and Lily kept reminding me three times before they came over to not “contaminate” their food. I had separate grilling pans for their veggie burgers and all. But honestly? After months of their smug comments, I snapped.

Here’s where I might be the asshole: I decided to “test” if they could actually tell the difference between real meat and their precious plant-based patties. So, I grilled up some regular burgers, told them they were the vegan ones, and served them without a word.

They ate everything, complimented me on how “authentic” the texture was, and even joked about how “meat eaters just don’t get it.” I didn’t say a thing during dinner, but later, I casually let it slip that they’d been eating real beef.

Cue chaos. Jake and Lily freaked out, accusing me of violating their trust, forcing them to break their morals, and essentially “poisoning” them. They stormed out, and now they’re telling everyone in our friend group what a monster I am. Some of our friends think it was a hilarious prank, while others say I totally crossed a line.

Honestly, I get that I messed with their beliefs, but I was fed up with their constant superiority complex. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal since it was just one meal.

So, AITA for secretly serving my vegan friends real meat to teach them a lesson?

I (M24) am a white guy who lives in a predominantly Asian community in the United States. My girlfriend (F23) is Korean and we have been dating for 4 months. Last week when we were looking for a place to eat, I suggested a Thai restaurant and she got mad at me, saying Thais are racist against Koreans and hates Koreans because Korea doesn’t let illegal workers into the country. To be honest I don’t really know what it’s about and don’t feel like researching it so I just believed her and we went to a Vietnamese place instead because I don’t want people to be racist to my girlfriend or her to feel uncomfortable. Well today I was eating lunch with my coworker, a conversation came up about Thai food and I said I don’t go to them anymore and told him the reason. He was extremely surprised and said I’m crazy for not going to Thai restaurants because of that. AITAH?

Let me explain… My (26M) brother (34M) is in a long and complicated divorce right now with his ex-wife. Recently he moved in with me. At that same time, he started dating this girl he met through Discord. She’s 21 years old and from Manila, Philippines. He already has plans to marry her and move her here to the U.S. once his divorce is finalized. A little soon IMO, but he went to the Philippines in July and they got along great.

She’s currently here visiting and it’s been great so far. The other day my when brother wasn’t home, we sat on the couch and talked deep for hours. Turns out she’s been working a customer support job remotely for a major tech company that happens to be headquartered in a nearby city. She is excited to move to the U.S. so she can further career here and financially support her family back home. Her dad recently passed and her mom is unable to work.

We have a ton in common. She’s really into my all time favorite show One Piece. My brother’s never really been into anime, so we’ve had a lot of fun watching it together while he’s at work (I WFH). Yesterday he got home while we had the show on and he made a rude comment about it being a “dumb cartoon”. She looked visibly upset by this comment and other comments he’s made about her interests. I overheard them in their room arguing last night but couldn’t make out the details.

Time and time again she’s expressed how much she wants to stay in this country and how much it’d change her life. She and my brother have been looking for solutions since he’s still tied up in his divorce and it could be years until she’d be able to come back and marry him. I’ve been doing some research and have come up with a potential solution but I’m scared to bring it up to them. Hypothetically, if I were to marry her, she’d be able to move to the U.S. permanently until the dust settles on my brother’s divorce and they could work it out from there.

TLDR: I am worried my brother’s GF will miss her opportunity to better her career and help her family by moving away from the Philippines. WIBTA if I brought up the idea of temporarily marrying her so she can move to the U.S.?