Some background. We have a 3yo and 6mo and live far from both our families. His mom and I have a cordial relationship, but I think all parties know we aren't crazy about each other. But I've never tried to put space between her and my husband or our kids. We stay at her place when we visit his hometown and she always stays with us when she visits. My husband knows I don't enjoy spending time with her but we don't talk about it because I'm certainly not going to criticize his family to his face and I understand he loves her dearly.

So, my daughter just started preschool and in our country, kids have a long "adaptation period" of two weeks when they only go to school for 1-2 hours a day. We both work full-time and have no family nearby, so my husband suggested flying his mom out to help. We just got back from two weeks of holidays with her so I didn't love the idea but recognized that we would, indeed, need the help.

My husband has done all the shopping and cooking and I've done all the cleaning, and she has mostly sat around on her phone. She is in her 70's, so we both recognized that there would be some limitations to what she's able to do. For example, we never planned on leaving her alone with both kids at the same time or anything like that. But I think we both agreed that we would also need help with basic things around the house, not just her sitting in front of the TV with the kids. In the past week she has folded one load of laundry and we've gone out to dinner twice, but we left once the kids were already in bed. That's pretty much it.

Yesterday my husband had the day off work and went out to lunch with a friend from out of town. I woke up at 5:30 (after a night of nursing) to get in a full day of work before he left, so that I'd be free to go to the beach with my MIL and the kids in the afternoon. I was expecting my husband to be around in the evening for the dinnertime/bedtime chaos but instead, he called to say he was going out for drinks. I told him I didn't really appreciate it, but fine. We both try hard to accommodate the other person taking time for themselves.

Once home, I got the kids' dinner ready, fed them, bathed them, and went to put my 6mo to sleep. I specifically asked my MIL to get my daughter into her PJs, teeth and hair brushed, bathroom done, etc. in the meantime. When I finally got the baby to sleep, none of this had been done. They'd been playing on MIL's phone the whole time. Fine, 3 year olds can be a bit difficult at bedtime so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. But once I finally got the 3yo to sleep I came out to find my MIL sitting on the couch with her phone while the wet towels and bathing suits from the beach still sat on the floor and the kitchen was an absolute disaster. She asks me what's for dinner. I told her I would probably just have a snack and go to bed early, but that first the kitchen and all the stuff from the beach needed to be cleaned up. She said "Ah ok, well once you're done doing all of that you can just make something easy for us to eat."

At this point, I'm fuming. My husband texted to say that he had messaged reminding her to please help with the stuff that needed to be done around the house, but that she hadn't read the message. Meanwhile, I'm looking at her on the sofa with her phone in her hand.

So this is where I kind of lost it and I messaged my husband saying "Look, I don't know what to do at this point because she is sitting here watching me do everything on my own and on top of it has just asked me to make her dinner. So I am really frustrated and tired, and even more so knowing that you have to work the next two nights and so I will once again be stuck doing this nighttime routine on my own."

My husband comes home so angry and laying into me about how he can't believe I'd send him that message and how this is all my fault because I'm not clear enough with her about what I need her to do, and on top of it I'm throwing it in his face that he needs to work the next two nights, which he has no control over. I told him that 1. his mom has eyes 2. I don't feel like I should need to micromanage a grown ass woman who supposedly came here to help and 3. I didn't know how to be any clearer without being disrespectful and flat-out ordering her to do things, which I'm not comfortable doing.

He yelled at me saying that he knew bringing her here was a mistake and that because of me she'd just never visit again. Clearly not what I was asking for or intended, but if she expressly came here to help, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect some help. Since he's a shift worker I'm plenty used to doing the nighttime routine on my own, so he said he doesn't understand why I'm so frustrated when I've had to do the same thing a million other times before. To which I would argue "Well then why the fuck did we need to fly your mom out here in the first place, if you expect me to be able to just do everything on my own anyways?"

He was so furious it really took me aback because it's not like him, and I actually had to re-read the text message I had sent him because he had me so gaslit that I started to think that maybe the message was more offensive than I had intended. It was not the least bit offensive IMO... it just said I was frustrated and tired and that I didn't know how to be any more direct with her about what things needed to be done.

I don't know where to go from here. I'd love some help understanding his POV because right now I am just shocked that apparently I'm the bad guy here.

So throwaway account

Me 18f and my friend 18f have been talking about going to watch a movie for the last month but only until today we were going to buy the tickets

I need to spend quite a lot of money to return home since I’m not at hometown studying in college so I thought it might be nice to watch a movie with a high school friend(we are quite close and still in contact) here’s the thing before I said to go to a movie theatre that’s easier and safer but she wanted to go to another one(there was an accident in that theatre a few years ago) but I said okay, I was a bit upset since it was convenient for her and not rly for me but I didn’t rly tell her so it’s fine

However today she sent a message telling to go to that theatre first since I’ll arrive at home earlier and buy the tickets and see if the merchandise is sold out or not, and I was super upset about it so I asked her if we can just buy the tickets online and she told me to do it so I just decided to cancel

After that I told her that it’s expensive and I’m tired so I don’t wanna go and now I feel bad about it

So can someone tell me am I the a hole and just order the ticket online?

Hello !

so I made a post yesterday on here about my boyfriend is upset with me reading books. I was so overwhelmed and felt so happy with your guys replies and that I just carried on reading !

I thought since a lot of you might be interested and I’d also really like some advice , I want to tell you guys about our relationship from start to finish as , I feel like I need that advice on how to break away from my boyfriend because I find it hard.

So lets start from the beginning.

I (20F) met my boyfriend (24F) a year and 2 months ago. I was 19 at the time and he was 21 (or so I thought). We had met on bumble and had talked for a while. When I first saw his profile I was unsure but decided to still give him a try as I wasn’t looking for anything romantic and just simply wanted to be friends. We both stated that and he was adamant to meet me, but I had been hurt in the past was I was still unsure but agreed. It was such a wholesome first meeting, he was a uni student in my home town and we went for a walk by the river and just talked and talked for hours about everything and anything. He told me about himself , I told him about myself and how my mum has mistreated me and etc. It felt just so smooth and comforting, I knew he was gonna be special to me from that moment. We carried on seeing each other. we either played pool in his uni accommodation, went around my home town city centre and talked , sat in his room and watch a movie and cuddle close. I started to catch feelings and I knew it was going to be hard as I believed he didn’t want anything else than just friends. One day we went around the city and sat down and drunk some boba , we were talking and I dont remember how it came into convo but he said “we could be more than friends you know.” I got so excited , later that night he kissed me and I felt so happy I went home basically jumping for joy. Months go past and we aren’t officially together but we are just happy , having a lot of sex , lots of kisses etc. just spending time together. One day I question why hasn’t he asked me to become his girlfriend yet? He just said he’s a little unsure and I dont push it. But then one day he does ask me to be his girlfriend and I was so happy. Honeymoon phase is all well , and then he finds out he has got his dream job at his dream place, he tells me he has to leave I can even move into a place with him or we have to break up. I chose to move with him as I wanted to get away from my mum and we ended up moving in together.

(Ive missed some gaps but I felt like I was rambling :( )

This is now where the real stuff starts. It was all happy and okay, but slowly coming up to christmas he mentions about how Im getting fat and unattractive. Now, Im not fat Im just curvy and I have PCOS so my weight does fluctuate but not extremely, and Ill admit Im not the prettiest I have psoriasis all over my forehead, arms and legs but he knew this when he met me. I get upset and he immediately apologised, but he says that I catfished him because outted myself as a gym girly, which I am. But I stopped going when I met him. But I agreed to go back to the gym. He was being bad still even though I agreed, controlling what I ate, told me when I ate too and what I drunk, despite doing what he wants even though he is fit and has muscles. But I eventually was ill and ended up hospital and he returned to his normal self. Leading up to Christmas we started arguing a lot, he was barley kissing me or hugging me. Never complimented me. New Years eve we had a massive argument he said about how Im just not attractive and other girls are, Im fat, my skin is ugly, Im always ill etc. It was around this time as-well he made me stop speaking to my online friends Ive had for years as he didn’t like that they were guys, I agreed as I didn’t want to make him upset. Things got a little better for Christmas and then in January his grandmother died, I was there for him and supported him and the day of the funeral he went back to his hometown. The night of the funeral at 2am , he messages me saying. He’s been out drinking with friends but he gonna come back soon just waiting a little. Im panicking as I dont want him drink driving, and I have work in the morning. He still chose to drive home anyways. Things were just up and down, and he started just getting more and more mean, saying no wonder no one loves me. Im a monster etc. But would then treat me like a princess the next minute. Whenever we argued I just begged for him to stop and that I love him, I never said anything mean back. It wasn’t until one day when we argued he went into the shower and I followed as I didnt wanna argue and wanted to talk about it, he then finally kicked me in the chest to try and get me out. I just cried and I ended up apologising to him because I was pestering him. Still going up and down, I finally get access to his phone for the first time in our relationship he only agreed because we actually went a whole month without arguing. I look through his instagram and find out that the night he drunk drove home, he actually cheated on me. He went on a date with a girl, and he classes this as not cheating because he didn’t sleep with her. I decided to forgive him because for some reasons I cant let him go no matter how hard I try. Things getter better then go to extremely worse. I had secretly started talking to one of my online friends again as I was lonely and hurt. He found out and he grabbed my wrists screamed in my face and pushed me over a chair. He claims the chair was there by accident. One of our neighbours called the police and he was arrested. I had to beg for his forgiveness and he just claimed Im not worth all this. But then he eventually forgave me. Again things got better and then just kept going up and down. He would pretend punch me say mean things, throw things at me. We eventually did officially break up and still lived together but he had dates planned, I was speaking to someone. But when he found out I was speaking to someone he begged for me back. And I decided to give him a chance If he changed and he did, for quiet some time. But it never lasted and now for the last couple of months he’s just been that same horrible person. Claiming Im not likeable, Im ugly, fat, always sick, other girls are hotter and he wonder why he is wasting his time with me, that Im a bitch etc.

He claims Im a really bad girlfriend and AITAH for not agreeing, Ive only ever shown him love and always put him first but he always ignores me and puts me last. I dont understand, and I dont understand why I cant leave him… why is it so hard.

I forgot to mention above he lied about his age when we first met, told me he was 21 but admitted he was 23 he just put it as 21 because he wanted a 19 year old.

Ive also missed out some parts as a year is hard to type with rambling on.

But I really need advice or help because why cant I leave?

I work at the airport and people are so strange So many places to sit and they sit right where I am working and just stare. They don't speak, just stare.

I lost a dog 2 years ago. She was sweet and kind and brought a ton of joy to my daily life. I have 2 other dogs, who are both seniors, one has hip dysplasia, so I know that at 8 years, as a large breed, she is not going to live for more than 2 or 3 additional years. I did spend all that time trying to convince myself that I didn't want another dog... but finally, my heart gave in.

I've missed our older dog (she was 17, but still quite active and loving until the end). I've been in a funk since her death and unemployed for a while, with no job prospects on the horizon. Finances aren't a problem, so when I finally told my family I wanted to adopt another dog, while have the time to do the necessary training, the message was basically, "Finally! Let's go!" and off to the local Humane Society we went.

We met several dogs and settled on a 3 year old who is about the same size as our smaller dog. She's supposedly a high-energy breed, but she's about as mellow as I've ever seen a dog be.

I shared with close friends and family pictures of her, saying we finally found our missing piece. She is a sweet dog who is adjusting to her new home, and although there is going to be some pretty minor behavioral training, I don't think it will take long for her to adjust. She already gets along with the others and is bonding wonderfully with her humans.

The problem is that almost immediately, a dear friend expressed his desire to no longer visit my home, as the 2 senior dogs I still had apparently caused him discomfort and upset.

He offered to still have us at his home or to meet out for dinner. However, this feels disingenuous to me because in the last 15 or 20 years, I feel like the vast majority of our social invitations already come from me. So I feel as though I am losing a dear friend, and my relationship with his wife, who I have a deep connection with, is in jeopardy.

I'm also at the stage in my life where I don't care to bother with relationships where someone thinks they can dictate what I do, in my home, with husband and adult children (both are in college, one lives close to school while the other chose to stay home while attending the local university).

I'm just fed up, I bought a door mat that said "Dogs Welcome (people tolerated) and I've demanded that until he can respect me for who I am, he can pretty much forget that we know each other. Fine, I was nicer than that, but he knows me well enough to know an FU when he sees it. I don't care to ever see him again.

To be plain, he has expressed that he hates dogs. He yells at mine all the time for just getting close to him. I'm pretty much over the kind of tantrum that he should have learned to get passed half a century ago.

He wants me to return the dog or never come to my home again.

So, AITAH for just telling him, "Fine. So be it. Miss me, or don't, but don't let the door knob hit ya where the Good Lord split ya"?

And before anyone tries to tell me about animal limits, I live in a rural area where you can have have up to 4 horses/two cows, 4 goats, 4 dogs, 8 cats, and 2 chickens/feed rabbits per person. It's a farming town. I have horses, cows, and goats all around, almost everyone has chickens and massive homesteading properties. I myself have a small orchard of fruit trees. The dogs do help keep rats and mice at bay. I can't say how many dogs, cats or rabbits are in the area, but I do know farmers who will sell you a rabbit for stew.

Just a bit of context first. I have been on psychological leave from my job for a month and a half plus one month of vacation I had already booked due to depression after the loss of my father.

I am supposed to go back to work on the 30th of September and I’m actually kinda looking forward to it (even though it also gives me anxiety). The problem here is that I’m from a small country, different from the one I work in and there aren’t that many good flight connections. Initially the only option I had was to fly early morning of the 30th of September since I actually have a wedding on the 28th in my home country (which I told him already a month ago) and all flight options on Sunday are either crazy expensive or with double layovers.

I decided to tell my boss I was going to travel back on the 30th so I would make it to work later (after lunch) because of the flight. He replied back with an annoyed tone with “pls check other options, you had enough time and flexibility to plan this better”. This reply just added to my anxiety and I’m really anxious as to how I should proceed… I thought it would be no problem but his reply made me rethink my actions and I am now considering splurging on a flight with 2 layovers to not annoy him further…

In any case, this left me angered, guilty and frustrated. Maybe because I was just hoping it would be fine with him and was hoping for some understanding.

Anyway. Was I in the wrong or should he have tried to understand better my situation?

Hi. I'm not sure if I'm the AH but I don't think I am. If you think I am, then please put it nicely, I struggle with criticism and need things explained simply.

I (19M) am very disabled. I have a lot of mental health conditions, as well as autism, adhd, and a genetic disability that means I can't walk very far. I have a dog, who I got before my disabilities became severe. He is certified by my countrys mental health services as an emotional support for me.

Today, he managed to eat chocolate that I forgot about. I called my vet, who referred me to my out of hours hospital. They said they couldn't help me as I can't walk to the hospital and there were no services for transport or home care. They referred me to another vet practice, who I had never heard of.

I called this vet practice, and the conversation went as follows.

Me: hi, I'm not really sure what to do, but please can you help. I've been referred by my out of hours hospital to here. My 8kg dog has eaten X amount of chocolate and I need to get him to be sick. I've got several disabilities and I can't walk to a vet and my family live in another country so I can't drive. I don't have anyone who can take me.

Receptionist says something, I ask him to repeat slowly as I have some hearing difficulties.

Receptionist: okay, let me look. The earliest at home appointment I have is at 6pm.

Me: That's going to be too late, I was told he needed to be seen in the next 2 hours (it's 8am).

Receptionist: okay well I can't help you then

Me: what should I do? Is there anywhere else I can go, or anyone I can contact for help?

Receptionist: our earliest appointment is at 6.

Me: I know that, but I'm just asking for general advice now as he needs to be seen sooner than that.

Receptionist: I've already told you our earliest appointment is 6pm.

At this point I've started panicking and crying because he's not listening and I can't understand why and I don't want my dog to die.

Me: I'm not asking for that. I need help, I need general advice.

Receptionist: Our earliest appointment is at 6pm.

Me: What am I supposed to do? I can't get there, I don't know anyone who can take me to the vets and if I wait until 6pm he could die. What am I supposed to do? Let him die?

Receptionist: I've already said our earliest appointment is at 6pm.

I realise he's just not listening and is generally just being rude tbh

Me: (calmly) I'd like to speak to your manager.

Receptionist: our. Earliest. Appointment. Is. At. 6pm.

Me: I'd like to speak to your manager.

Then he hung up on me, and I had a full blown panic attack.

Now, if he had said he didn't know, or couldn't suggest services, that would have been fine. I just didn't like the way he was utterly ignoring me and being rude.

I emailed the management and complained. They said they didn't offer at home emergencies, which obviously isn't true from the constant mention of 6pm. I wasn't expecting special treatment, I wasn't expecting a change in timings. I just wanted suggestions on what I could do. I complained because of the impact that sort of treatment could have on other neurodiverse people or those with mental health conditions.

I'm just concerned I could have come across as the ah. I've also, as mentioned, got some hearing issues. I don't think I shouted (I have housemates and the dog involved who was on my legs slept throuh all of this), and I didn't swear or berate the receptionist. If I was louder, maybe it came across as shouting because I can't hear very well?

AITA?

AITA …. My wife was propositioned by a friends ex husband. He tried to tell her that my wife initiated it, but he had played that card previously. My wife and the ex called him on it. This was nearly 5 weeks ago. She told me about it last night. I was livid. She asked me not to do anything. As they handled it.

I disrespected her wish. I messaged him. The ex wife, him and my wife had words today. In the words of my wife “fixing dramas i caused”. My wife asked HIM to block my messages and not reply. He did. Her words “at least he listened to me”

My justification is, it isn’t up to the ex wife and my wife to “handle” something that directly disrespected my marriage. The guys a sleaze and has been a cheater in his marriage. I have made it very clear to my wife I am very protective and just because “they handled it”, doesn’t mean I am not allowed to also confront the douche bag. I appreciate that my wife called him on it, but do I not also have the right to confront someone who disrespected OUR marriage?

Added extras - The friend is her friend, not mine. We are a FF couple. My wife can be what some would class as inappropriate with her banter (she is bi). He crossed the line saying “we could hook up, and ex wife wouldn’t know” in response to her banter. I asked does she think it’s appropriate to banter like that with someone you know has crossed the line in the past. Her response was that’s his problem.

So for context I (22m) and my wife (21f) have a young 1 year old boy. Me and my wife were engaged when she got pregnant so we pushed the wedding off till after his birth, love this kid more than anything. We were living in our own apartment together in a different city until I ended up getting let go from my job due to low clientele, so we moved back in with my dad (cause he offered/demanded). Everything was going good, I got a better job we started paying rent and taking care of the house, my wife is a stay at home mom so it’s easy. However in the past couple months he got a new girlfriend who has 4 kids herself and they all moved in as well. Now here’s where the problem started his girlfriend keeps acting like she’s my kids grandma and even tells others to call her that(strike one…my dad said that after my mom and him divorced he’s never getting married again), when my son started walking he was more playful for about a week but then he was jumpy and scared and we couldn’t figure out why. I came home early one day to find my wife asleep( due to medicine she has to take puts her to sleep) and normally our son is in his bed next to her, but not this time, so I asked everyone where he was come to find out my dad’s girlfriend went into our room and took him out without permission ( strike two). She pulled him from our locked room by using my dads emergency key for our door because she wanted her kids to be able to play with him, fine I can get over that but when he went to go and grab his toy (I bought for him) she slapped him and said no you can share and then handed it to one of her kids. Now I’ve never wanted to or have hit a woman but you put your hands on my son or my wife I’ll brush your teeth with the curb. After she hit my son I grabbed him while he was screaming and starting to turn red cause she actually HIT him I then grabbed his toys and left the room woke up my wife and we loaded into the car and drove to my mother in laws house where I then called my dad, the conversation went kinda like this…. Dad:hey what’s up bud? Me: I’m gonna try and stay calm saying this but no promises. Dad: ok, what’s up? Me: your girlfriend just one took my son from his bed by using the key to our room I gave you, and two hit him when he tried to play with his own toy because one of her kids wanted it. Dad: oh Jesus. Ok , what do you want me to do about it? Me: there’s two options either I handle it and then she’s leaves in a bag and I leave with an escort and hands behind my back. Dad: let’s not do that, don’t do anything rash. Me: or the other option is she leaves or I do if she and her kids are still there me and mine will not be. Dad: come on don’t be like that just get along. Me: no, I’m done trying to get along she’s a overstepping little bitch and I’m done either she’s gone or me and mine are and I won’t even visit if she’s there. …. A couple hours after that she called me calling names and screaming saying I’m being immature, however most of my friends and family are on my side. Now I’m asking you aitah?

I (32F) went on a work do a few weekends ago and had messaged a guy I knew in high school, asking him if he wanted to meet up for a drink.

Ex-husband picked me up (arranged prior to me heading out).

I was in such a state, I had no idea what was going on, literally black out drunk. Long story short, I almost lost all my belongings…

He (ex-husband) went through my phone, found the messages and I am now a ‘home wrecking bi$!?’, ‘untrustworthy ho3’, ‘narcissist ’ etc

AITAH for trying to reconnect with old friends and have a life?

It’s worth noting that the person I messaged, we never dated or even hung out at high school - we connected on social media probably 8 years ago when he was travelling and happened to be visiting somewhere I’d love to visit. We chatted for about a month and then contact dwindled as husband was jealous that we had stuff in common.

Yes - there have been previous trust issues, which is why our marriage ended - on both parts.

So, me (16f) and my best friend (16f) have been friends for 13 years, we have always been very close but ever since we got into high school we started hanging out less, we hang out and love each other but it’s not the same.

When we got into high school my best friend (O) made friends with a girl (S). Me and S were friendly but we weren’t really close.

last school year O made a new friend (H) that she became very close to very quickly which cause her to kind of leave S behind.

This summer, me and S have started working in the same place, and in our work we work in pairs, so when our manager heard that we know each other from school she paired us together. We spent the all summer together, working 5 days a week 9 hours a day. Our job have a lot of time to talk and relax, especially as our manager encourages us to get close and be friends. Me and S got close really quickly after we got paired.

O didn’t know about it because whenever I tried to talk to her about my work she will complain that it’s boring and will change the subject. And she and S didn’t really meet over the summer so she didn’t hear anything from her either.

So when the school year started and she saw me and S stuck at the hip, always talking about when we’re going to meet up next or when our next shift is she got confused.

We told her everything that happened over the summer and she didn’t really have any reaction to it.

S and H have a class together where it’s just them, and they started getting close as well.

Yesterday, We had a free period so the four of us were hanging out at the mall next to our school when S and H made a joke that we didn’t understand, so O asked them about it and they just laughed and said it’s a joke between them and O got mad.

She gave them a mad look, and told H to tell her and that it’s not funny, when H just laughed and didn’t tell her she started yelling at S about how she’s talking all of her friends and that that’s probably the reason why S didn’t have any friends before her.

I defended S since O was just yelling nonsense and seeing as we were in a public everyone were staring at us, but then she started yelling at me about how I’m a bad friend for “abandoning” her for S. after that she stormed off.

S got quiet and none of us really knew what to say so we just got back to school and tried to ignore what happened. we haven't seen O since.

I don’t know what to do, I don’t think I’m in the wrong for getting close with S, especially as both me and S have been trying to meet up with her but she was the one blowing us off, but on the other end I kind of gave up on it when we started this school year because I got close with S.

Should I have tried harder to show O that I still care about her and consider her my best friend? I don’t know what to do or how to fix this.

I need to know if I’m a terrible person or not, cuz I kinda feel like one. This is about my husbands cousin “Jake” and his wife “Caity” (fake names, obvi). My husband and his cousin have always been very close, so when Caity and I came along, we all became kind of a group, though not as close since we moved a few states away. My husband and I first started trying for our first baby when we got our first apartment together. 8 months into trying, they had an accidental pregnancy, which kinda bummed me out, but not that much. My husband and I got pregnant 4 months later. We had our boys 4 months apart from each other. Jake and Caity were adamant they were one and done, and that they never intended to get pregnant to begin with. My husband and I have always wanted a big family. We started trying for a second when our son was 9 months old. That was over 3 years ago. Well, recently Jake and Caity found out they were pregnant again. And they found out today that it’s a girl. I have this huge feeling of resentment and envy. I want so badly to be happy for them. I’ve been happy for everyone else around me who’s gotten pregnant while we’ve struggled with secondary infertility. But I just have this deep contempt for them. Am I an asshole for feeling this way?

So, this happened a while ago when I was 21 and my now husband (then bf) was 23. However, it still comes up and I still have a strained relationship with the aunt/uncle because of this, so I’m curious.

Backstory - I had been semi close with both of my aunt/uncles before we moved out of the city they lived in when I was 12. However, the one aunt (S) and uncle (M) were always particularly kind to our family and I always loved them a lot. They are super sweet people. My other uncle (C) and aunt (T) are a bit more eccentric and have caused problems in the family, but I loved them a lot growing up as well.

Anyway, my then bf and I were travelling to visit his family and we stayed in the city I grew up in for two nights on the way (got there around supper one night and left early after the second night). We planned to spend the one day at an amusement park in the city, and one night having supper with C and T and then heading out. The reason we chose to see C and T was only because they had just had a new baby and I wanted a chance to quickly meet my new cousin. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have seen any family at all. Well, it got back to M and S that we only visited C and T and not them when we came to the city. They were very hurt by this, but only ended up talking to my mom and not me. She explained why we saw C and T and not them, but they were still extremely hurt. They have treated me and my now husband differently ever since.

There has never been an expectation in our family that we see everyone when we come to the city. However, I’m worried I was the asshole here for choosing to see C and T and not M and S, especially given how kind they always were to me. Or is this a situation where they are overreacting over me choosing to make a quick visit to my new cousin?

(Sorry if this is confusing, please feel free to ask any questions.)

This situation has been troubling me. I know someone who lost their license, but are now eligible to get it back. They claim to have filled the forms and paid for it but are waiting for it to be sent to them (this was 6+ weeks ago) and still they have no license. I have reported them driving a family members car repeatedly as I worry about others in our community. This person has been witnessed speeding in school grounds and repeatedly drink/drug drives.

Morally I feel I've done the right thing but I feel absolutely terrible as I am friends with the family member who the car belongs to and I know they will also get in trouble for allowing this.

So, reddit, tell me your verdict, am I the asshole?

I am the grandmother of 11 kids. Most really are not kids anymore. They range in age from 16 to 27. I love all of them to death but I have a problem with the oldest. All but 2 live in a different state but my husband and I keep in touch frequently. The 26 y/o, I’ll call her Jane, is so ungrateful and has been since day one. We give generously to them (usually money now that they are all older) all but Jane is the only one who has never, not once, thanked us for a gift. In fact, when I inquire whether or not she received it, she’ll say, she will check and get back to me. Needless to say, I never hear back. The last time she said she hasn’t checked the mailbox. When I inquired again, weeks later, she said her room mate got the mail and Jane then threw it into her laundry basket and she hasn’t looked to see what’s there. Note that her birthday was almost 3 months ago. This behavior has bothered me for some time. In addition, we have never heard from her on our birthdays. I don’t think she even knows the dates of our birthdays, nor does she care. I have tried to not let this bother me, but it does. I don’t think I’m asking for a lot. Just a thank you for the gift and a wish for Happy Birthday via text, email, card, whatever. Nothing that would take more than 2 minutes to produce. All of this has led me to consider stopping the gift giving. I have thought about this for years but always felt guilty for considering it. But I think I’m pretty much over it. I am not a confrontational person so I’m having difficulty in handling this. Any advice?

My sister (32) moved in with me because she got pregnant 5 months ago from what she claimed was a "one-night stand." I love my sister, so of course, I took her in. My husband is overseas for 6 more months, so it was nice to have her around because I care about her very much.

On Monday, I came home and saw my sister and a strange woman in a screaming match on my doorstep. I obviously didn’t know what was happening, but I saw the woman poking my pregnant sister's shoulder, so I intervened.

I sent my sister inside, and she begged me to send the woman away. I didn’t understand what was going on, but I wanted the altercation to end for everyone’s sake, so I told the woman as much.

Then she started screaming, asking me if I was also sleeping with her husband.

I was like ?????

And then she basically revealed that my sister had been having an affair with her husband for 5 YEARS. FIVE YEARS!

She had everything printed out—chats, photos, emails, receipts. It was disturbing to see, and I didn’t want to go through it all.

But a few things were established:

1. My sister knew about his wife. She knew she was the mistress and liked it.
2. This woman was a stay-at-home mom to their four kids, one of whom has a severe disability from a car accident.
3. Her husband knew about my sister’s pregnancy and even took her on a baby moon to celebrate it.
4. The affair had been going on the entire time, with my sister believing he would eventually leave his wife for her.
5. My sister had fully embraced the role of being "the other woman" and was emotionally invested in their relationship, despite his repeated lies about leaving his wife.

I told the woman I was very sorry and that I obviously didn’t know, but I asked her to leave because this wasn’t going anywhere, and I didn’t want the neighbors to call the police. She was furious but gave me her number on a post-it, begging me not to let her husband stay at my house. I assured her that no man was stepping foot in my home.

My sister was begging me not to believe the woman, calling her a vindictive ex-wife. I told her, "Alright then, let’s look up the marriage online. Let’s see if a motion for dissolution of marriage was ever submitted."

We fought hard. My sister kept saying I would never understand and that they loved each other, but he just couldn’t leave his wife, blah blah blah. I called her dumb and naive.

The next day, I told her she could stay here because I didn’t want her to become a financial burden on that woman in any way, but I also told her that, right now, I didn’t want to engage with her. My sister asked me if I still loved her, and I told her honestly, "Right now, I can’t say I do. I will always help my nephew and not endanger you, but I can’t like you because you’ve shown me you’re not a trustworthy person." I told her I didn’t trust her not to try anything with my husband, and I didn’t trust her with anything at all, so I made her sign a tenant’s agreement.

She’s been begging me to forgive her, and I told her there’s nothing to forgive. I just don’t know who she is anymore.

AITAH

So my wife, daughter and I recently moved into a new house. This is my first house as an owner and I am loving it! We have worked hard to get the house to a livable space as the previous owners were old and let go of maintenance. The issue is our neighbours who I met on day 1 as I like to know who lives around me in case of emergency and also just being a nice guy, are also old. Late 70's early 80's ish. They have 3/4 children and they pay someone to drive them around who as I understand is not always available. My wife has a very soft heart for old people, she used to care for both her grand parents and is always trying to help her own parents. The neighbour has now taken it upon himself to start asking favours. Like taking him to the shop, taking him to the vet for their dog, buying food etc. My wife has said yes a few times now and it feels like they are taking advantage of the situation. We have lived here for 3 weeks and are already out of pocket for the food and dog food and fuel. I have told my wife to stop doing them favours as I didnt move to this house to become a caretaker for the elderly. I am so close to telling the old man off myself but I dont want to cause issues to a neighbour as they are around the whole day and could warn me if something goes wrong at our house. AITA for telling my wife to stop caring so much? Would I be an even bigger asshole if I told the old man off?

I (F22) have a close-knit friend group with my two cousins who I’ll call Em(F20) and Jane (F21). Jane has always been a very judgemental person and recently, Jane had been treating me differently. One time in particular was when we had gone to a festival and I had gotten my nails done for the first time and excitedly started tapping surfaces around me(a bit annoying I know) Jane had made a snide comment about how I think I’m a baddie now before walking off, she also always goes quiet when I enter the room, and even complained how she’s sick of everyone treating me like a baby when my Bf (M21) asked her to check on me in the bathroom when I had gotten food poisoning while we were all out. They've also been calling me a "pick me girl" despite my never putting down other females for male validation and often comment that the way I dress (which is mostly dresses and skirts and platforms) is only because I want attention. Which has never been true as I hate been the centre of attention. The main issue actually arose on Saturday, we were all at my Bfs place and I had asked him to play music. He got up and went to his room to connect to the main speaker. Ems Bf had followed him and both called me to help them look for the speakers cord as I was the last one who had used it. When Ems bf left the room I quickly changed into more comfortable clothing and left the room. I made a harmless joke about "just DJing" with my boyfriend, and Jane got upset. Em told me Jane thinks I'm “extra." Jane has also been posting passive-aggressive post on social media and staying over at staying over at Ems without inviting me.

I had spoken to Em, asking if I had done anything to hurt or offend Jane and explained Jane’s recent comments and actions. Em completely downplayed everything I had said and told me that’s just the way Jane is and I should get used to it.

Yesterday, I received an unprovoked message from Em warning me not to "change" my boyfriend and respect his time with friends and not to isolate him from them either and how I’m acting like a little bitch. The message baffled me because I often encourage my Bf to spend his time with his friends as I like to have my own space as well. However, my boyfriend is the clingy one , and I've never been overly possessive. Nevertheless I responded to Em saying I understand her feelings about the situation and I would make a change as my relationship with her is the most important in my life. The issue continued and when we had gone to visit Em. I began telling her about the constellations (astronomy is a hobby) and she shut me down and told me I’m being extra again. I can’t help but feel all of these frustrations bubbled up when I spoke to Em about Jane’s treatment of me. So AITA for feeling hurt and frustrated with Jane’s behaviour or am I overacting?

My GF works shifts with a guy who's twice her age and married. When we started dating I explained my limits and mentioned that sometimes I felt her and this guy verged on flirting/ too physically close than I was comfortable with. She agreed and did impose reasonable limits. I don't think she likes this guy other than as a friend but I do think he very likely enjoys the closeness more than her.

A few months on from this, we had been discussing this and other things in a positive way - I mentioned that still on occasion I felt a bit awkward when we are all together and they are very physically close looking at a screen/phone or something. I explained that due to us all being at work and us very consciously not appearing as a couple to remain professional, seeing her spend time like this occasionally still made me feel awkward. She did acknowledge this and agree, and I can see that she took it into account. I trust her completely just to make thst clear.

Well, just recently, I walked into the end of a conversation they were having with another colleague. The other person said something like I wish I could have a work marriage like you two, my girlfriend laughed and said oh but we argue with each other too! I had just walked in and said what's that all about? She flatly said that the other person was upset her "work wife" had quit and that she wished for the same thing again like with my GF and her colleague. The guy colleague, due to a bit of translation issue, said something like oh she she that? Did she mean you(my gf) or you(me)? And my gf of course said it was referring to the relationship between them( not me). So I was a little surprised and just said ok... and left shortly after.

As I left I was initially upset, I think due to my gf seemingly playing along with the comment and seeming unfazed by it. Given what we had talked about before and even recently, I think to an extent it played into my insecurities and made me feel confused.

I went back to speak to her alone and explained that hearing someone describe them as a work wife and husband is honestly a weird thing for me to hear, I wouldn't ever want someone to tell me I had a work wife for example. They could have said work bestie, if I hear work wife/husband then this signifies to me that another colleague from a different section sees them as extremely close and a suggestion of more than friends.

I explained initially I was confused at her reaction given that I had walked in and that I realise this could be partly or maybe mostly my problem due to some insecurity, and due to us just talking about their friendship a few days previously in a really deep and long conversation.

She got upset and started crying and said she's upset because she's trying and that she only realised afterwards how it sounded. I explained I'm not upset anymore or angry, I just think we needed to talk about how we feel about it because there was an awkward atmosphere after the exchange initially so clearly everyone realised it was a bit weird. I explained how the concept of a work marriage to me is really weird and that from me walking in when I did and from her reaction, it didn't seem like it had bothered her. She further explained that she had a slightly different opinion of the term, perhaps due to naivety, and I showed her some reddit threads of people asking questions about this situation and she agreed that she saw why I thought it was a weird term to use, especially if the people are married/not single. I don't think for a minute there's any chance she would cheat on me with this guy, but hearing them described like this just made me feel icky..I can't help that.

I'm very confused as to how I feel about how I reacted - I still think it needed to be discussed rather than just ignoring it - but after reading this, AITAH?

I have a friend A who got bullied a lot by a few classmates almost 2 yrs ago...we weren't friends back then and well...she had a hard time as she was also receiving death threats.... She's fine now and the bullies were delt with..but she can't make any friends in her new class as most of the kids know abt what happened..(or I thought that was the reason)

A and H used to be best friends since 2 yrs and H was there for A during that time.... fast-forward to 9th grade,aka a year later, they r both in diff classes. H and B becomes friends and B was already friends with N since 8th I think..

So me, H and B are int the same class as well and during recess when H goes to meet her 2 other friends,A and F, B and N comes upto me and started eating with me everyday Well we did meet A and F and I got to know F more as I have a class together with her and in 8th A and I used to have same classes too but she never talked to me except in one class...and maybe around December both A and F comes to eat with us and since then we all became good friends... ⏩ To 10th Well in the beginning we were all fine...soon A started writing a story, fanfic actually in Wattpad and she kept talking abt that and at first we were all happy for her..she used to draw/sketch and only H was allowed to see them, I get that, they are bestie, I don't really mind it. Soon A started ranting abt smth like anime and big hero 6 and well none of us except H and A could understand...but the thing was that she wanted all of us to listen to her...and all my friends did...I tried but after a few days it was getting Soo boring that I kept zoning out and didn't really listen to her...she understood I didn't pay attention to her anymore and accused me of being a bad friend ...

I was stupid back then and mad and also insecure...I have another friend grp( just 4 of us) in my tuition and I asked them if what I did was wrong and if I really am a bad friend..they comforted me and told me to ignore her whenever she said that ...and so I tried distancing myselp...didn't work.. So she's really good at acting (apparently she can also lie and cry on command)...so basically after that A accused me of ignoring her infront of my other friends...I felt bad and started talking with her again.ALOT. even if it was not something I wanted to do...

Well I didn't think abt that then...I just thought I was being immature...but apparently B had enough and told H that they needed to talk to A b4 this whole thing gets out of hand...so they did...that day me,N and F shared our feeling abt A and I wasn't actually the only one who didnt like listening to her rant...soon A backed down and everything was smooth sailing again...or so I thought She did...but I wasn't really quick to catch onto that ...thr others were and B and H started texting abt how A actually is and how she's bad and needs to change...at a point H got so mad that she almost confronted A thorough text but she deleted her msg. Finally B and H got a plan to stop A without hurting anyone...right b4 recess was PE so me,N,B and H were having that class together...we all were talking and then H dropped the bomb in us... apparently H had confronted her and worded her text correctly ..so apparently after that class A would come up to all of us and apologize...

Me being stupid didn't know what was happening and didn't think A had anything to apologize for...and that was because A was gaslighting and guilt tripping me...H explained a few things A did in the beginning of their friendship...A for some reason was obsessed to draw inappropriate 18+ things and then she would send it to H..cuz of that H got traumatized as they were only in 8th at the time Yea...I got really mad at her but remained calm and didn't show my feeling ...also since A was bisexual and my friend grp is like just 6 girls (including myself) A had a crush on H and B... A apparently 'proposed' to B once and to H like multiple times...4 times just this year Idk...and after telling us (me and N ) that B and H told us to stay back cuz she wanted to discuss abt A ...we managed to somehow owerhear them and heard a few words like police and trouble...then B and H came and told us H did something actually many things that could get her in really big trouble...I thought it would not be too bad ad we all r still just teens and the worst thing she ever could have done is spread rumours...idk if she did but that's besides the point...I tried to ask H and B what A could have done that could get her is trouble with the police...but they refused to tell me as I was 'too innocent ' to u understand Later they explained a bit more abt it...like how A was acting as the main character and she was being self-absorbed and dumping all her problems onto us ...she apparently believed she was in some kinda game/movie in which she was that main character and the rest of us r just there to help her..like our problems didn't even matter...I did feel like that b4 but had brushed it off...

Am I really overreacting or do I cut off all ties with her?? (Btw sorry 4 the long post 😅)

Hi update.. Forgot to mention a few things.. So basically A came up to us and apologized and said she would work on herself, take therapy and stuff and I believed her...but I feel like she just said that and won't actually do anything..like I introduced her to this app called talk life which is really good and it's been maybe a whole year since she said she would check it out.. Also a bit background on A and F...they hate each other A hates F because she's trying to hangout with H. F hates A cuz she's really possessive over H and doesn't want her to become close friends with anyone...

In A's apology to F she said she felt excluded and distant from F. A is literally always talking and so most to the time me, N, B and F are talking together .. and A had the audacity to ask F to let her join her "group"

F is usually more of a listener than a speaker so most of the time she listens to us and gives advice on what to do next..tbh she's the first person I told abt my crush She's that sweet. And A said she was ignoring her and not talking to her. She asked F to include her in the conversations.

Do I still cut ties with her or do I just ignore and distance myself?

I (19F) am a sophomore in college, and I’ve spent the past year and a half partying and hooking up with different guys. I grew up in a super strict household, and once I got to college, I just wanted to experience everything I felt I’d missed out on. I ended up sleeping with over 100 guys at parties, and while I was careful—using condoms and getting regularly tested for STDs—somehow I still ended up pregnant.

I have no idea who the father is. Even though I was trying to be responsible, something must have gone wrong, and now I’m stuck in this situation. When I told my friends, some of them were really harsh, saying I should have been smarter or kept better track of who I was with. They think I put myself in this mess, and now I need to deal with it. I get why they feel that way, but I didn’t expect this to happen at all.

I don’t want the baby, and I’m considering either an abortion or adoption. It’s overwhelming, and I never thought I’d be in this position at 19. I haven’t told my parents yet, and I’m dreading it because they always expected me to be more responsible than this. I know they’ll be disappointed, and I’m already feeling lost and ashamed.

AITA for living my life the way I did and now considering these options?

Why did my girlfriend act so weird when she wrought me to her gym?

Why did my girlfriend 'F 31'act so weird when she brought me 'M 26' to the gym?

I live in Los Angeles and my girlfriend lives in San Diego. She has been trying to show me the gym. She has a membership at for a while now a couple days ago. We finally got around to it and on the way there she says she feels really self-conscious that day and wants to work out by herself. we get there m has the equipment outside and half the equipment inside, and she says shes going to workout inside and I have to stay outside and wait until she calls me when shes finished to come inside. I kind of figured she was just being dramatic and really meant. She didn't want me to bug her while she was working out which I already thought was strange because that's not like her, but I worked out outside and realized that a certain machine I wanted to use was on the inside but upstairs. so I quickly walked upstairs and got on the machine making sure to avoid her. A little bit later, she calls me asking me where I am and I say I'm coming down stairs and she got all mad at me saying I disrespected her requests. The more I think about it the more suspicious and uneasy I feel about it. Why on earth would I not be able to work out near my girlfriend let alone be in the same room with her at the gym or simply walk past her. The only thing I could think of that would make any sort of logic. Was that someone that worked at the gym or someone working out there was an ex boyfriend or someone she was potentially Cheating on me with. I Asked her and she got mad i accused her of it. Am i overreacting or is it possible shes trying to hide something from me? If she isn't hiding something from me, can anyone think of any reason she would act like that and be so strict about being separated in the gym like I said I could understand if she didn't want me to talk to her or bugger and wanted to focus but the fsct she was pissed i even walked upstairs in the same building as her just doesn't make sense to me.

TL;DR; Girlfriend brings me to her gym and tells me i have to stay out of sight and on the outside equipment while she worked out inside.

Hi, first of all, english is not my native language. This is a long and painful story but i will make it short as posible. I'm polyamorous. Last year i started dating Paul (fake name) and we were both poly and we were happy until July 2023 when i met Jake. At first i just wanted to have something casual with Jake, but i ended falling in love with him lol, and the feeling was mutual. I introduced them on a discord call with some friends, and everything seemed to be fine but then Paul told me that he didn't like Jake, with no reason at all. That was sad, cause i really liked Jake, and my friends told me that Paul was just being childish, in some point they will get along. WELL. No. I was more and more in love with Jake, and Paul was so mad about it. Until one day, Jake asked me to be his gf. Paul get angrier and told me that he didn't support our relationship, and since he was my priority i should just be friends with J. I was so sad, so i cut contact with J bcause i cannot be friend of him :(. I was so sad, and Paul tried to make me smile, but i was so pissed. He hated him for NO FUCKING REASON. In some point i reached out J cause i miss him, and i told him to be friends, we tried our best, but sometimes we flirted bc the love was still there. Paul found our chat and he was pissed af, and call me a cheater and that i broke totally his trust. I know that it was wrong, but the situation was just so unfair to me. I stopped talking to J again to work on my relationship (i really thought that i was going to marry paul tbh) and in march 2024 i started to talk with J again, but this time, JUST FRIENDS. And i was faithful fr. Paul was not happy, but i let him read our chat and stuff. Fast forward to July, for this and other reasons, Paul broke up with me, it take me by surprise honestly. So i made my grief but in one point i think "well, maybe it's time" and i called J. So we met up (friendly) and i started kissing him xd and then told him what happened. Then we started meeting up frequently, until we thought that was the moment, so we started dating yay. The problem is, that i have Paul on my social media yet, and i have fear of posting pics w J, cause he will think some bs like "oh so she changed me so fast, she didn't love me anymore". But i'm so happy with Jake we are the happiest couple ever and i want to show the world sometimes the things that we do. But at the same time i feel SO GUILTY, i feel like crap. So, AITA for dating Jake? Sorry i left a lot of details out bc A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENED so if you have questions i will answer uwu Pls help i'm kinda on crisis

I usually oppose ghosting and see myself as kind, but my patience ran thin with this one guy. After a tough day, I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong.

I matched with him on Tinder, and he quickly asked what I was looking for, which felt a bit rushed. When I responded something casual, he asked when I could usually hang out. I found it off-putting since it was too soon and there wasn't any "get to know you" texts outside the one I sent at the beginning. He mentioned he couldn’t drive far for a week but offered weed if we met. I was open to that. Then he asked for my Snap.

On Snap, he immediately tried to make plans. He would take a day or two to reply, only to ask if I was free that day, which felt too soon given he’s two hours away. Eventually, he suggested hanging out at his house. I asked to meet for lunch first, but he responded "yeah, we can do drinks or coffee", which felt a bit sketchy (maybe I'm paranoid but drinks seems very... portable. Y'know?). I ask him what time we should meet and he doesn't reply. He doesn't get back with me until 10:30am the next day where he says "I'm thinking 1 or 2?" I'm thinking... Dude. I live 2 hours away, which he should know if he looked at my profile. That gives me 10 minutes to get ready and I don't even know where to meet.

I send him a 'get out of jail' excuse message like "Hey, so sorry, I didn't get a reply and my family roped me into plans for the day. How about next time you plan on coming into [neighboring town] you let me know? :)" He replied the next day, but I didn’t read it. My opinion of him soured, especially since he seemed eager to invite strangers over.

After three days, I unadded him on Snap without reading his response. This morning, he texted me on Tinder asking why I did that, which made me feel guilty. I realize I could have communicated better; I was too nervous to say no when he suggested his house and I could've been proactive in suggesting details.

Now, I’m unsure if I was too paranoid and judgmental, and whether I owe him an explanation. If I do, what should I say? Something like, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think this will work out”?

Posting this off an alt account because there’s genuinely no telling who will see this. I also will warn you there’s a lot of details to this story.

Notice (everyone in this story is 18-19)

I met grant (fake name) around two years ago through mutual friends. We would hang out in groups and eventually just drifted apart due to going to different schools. Not too long ago, I learned that grant had been working with a few of my friends at their job, we got back in contact and he updated me on his life. He had a girlfriend of a year and was doing really well, obviously I congratulated him and that was that.

A few months before school ended, I met my then boyfriend James (fake name). We met through social media but soon came to find out we had a ton of mutual friends, one of them being grant. I also learned that grant and James had been best friends for years.

When getting to know James, I also got to know grants girlfriend, Amy (fake name).

Me and Amy became really good friends after we learned that we had more in common than just our boyfriends. We didn’t talk often but when we saw each other it was great!

Not too long after I got to know Amy, and became closer with grant as well. My boyfriend James calls me to ask if I knew about this girl named Sarah (fake name). I told him yes, and that I’ve gone to school with Sarah for a long time, why?

James began to tell me that grant was talking to him about this girl Sarah that he works with, saying how chill she was, how much they had in common, and that they even planned on going fishing together sometime soon. As any normal person would, that worried James a lot because he knew how good Amy was to grant, and it was disheartening seeing him talk and text another girl.

James tells me all of this and I am absolutely floored. I didn’t know Amy that well at that point but I knew that grant and her were really good for each other. And that if she knew this , it would break her.

Me and James started doing some investigating on the situation, he would ask grant more and more about this Sarah girl. And I would ask my friends who worked with grant and Sarah to keep an eye on them to see if there was any flirting…and to nobody’s surprise, there was flirting, and there was texting.

Soon after we find out enough that we need to know, James and I ask another one of their friends, Michael (fake name) about the situation, and if he knew anything of it considering he also worked with them.

Michael had absolutely no idea what we were talking about, but was certain that grant would never do that to amy, or even consider cheating on her.

After the conversation with Michael, James and I began to slightly give up, until grant texted us that very next day.

If I had the texts still I would copy it, but from what I remember it went like

“I know what it must look like to you and James, but I love amy. And I would never even think about cheating on her. I was getting to know Sarah and texting her because I was trying to hook her up with Michael!”

My immediate reaction was to believe and apologize to grant, or at least to pretend to.

James got the same text, he didn’t believe a word of it. But after that, we never heard about Sarah and grant ever speaking to each other again…weird huh.

Fast forward to the end of the summer, my friends and I are hanging out at one of their houses, a friend of mine updates me that she’s invited grant and Michael over to hang out!

It was weird to me at first as to why they invited either of them over, but they explained that since their summer job had ended, they all wanted to hang out one last time before we all left for college, pretty simple, and it was a great time!

Then after that, grant and Michael began coming over every night after that. It started to get a little concerning after finding out that grant and amy were taking a “break” due to arguing constantly. But I never questioned any of it, because as far as I knew, grant and amy were doing just fine, just taking a little break.

(Side note: my boyfriend (James) had been out of town for 2 weeks visiting family before leaving for college, that’s why he wasn’t also hanging out with all of us)

The summer ends and we’re all moved off to college. Grant and James move to the same college and amy and I help them both move into their dorms. All is well.

Until the past 2 weeks.

James decided to break up with me, the distance was too much for him, and he was stressed about school. It’s whatever, I’m good now lol.

Not too long after the break up, I text grant and his girlfriend letting them know that James and I have broken up, they’re both super upset and are giving me the best advice.

Grant, being the longest friend I had in that moment, was the first to text me about how sorry he was and that he would be there for me every step of the way.

Amy on the other hand, was absolutely pissed. She didn’t understand why James broke up with me, especially since her and grant were doing the exact same distance and were perfectly fine.

Amy and I got to talking and we started getting a lot closer, she was always texting me, letting me know how much she hated James and what not (lol). Until this week on Sunday night, amy texts me and is a nervous wreck. James had convinced grant to join him at his frat party.

Amy hates frats, and even hates the parties more. And she’s made it more than clear to grant that she feels that way.

Amy started telling me that grant had stopped texting her when he would go to these parties, and would go home and call her with these crazy stories about how these “super drunk girls kept touching him” or “dancing on him”.

Safe to say, amy had every reason to be worrying.

Amy starts telling me that she thinks grant might be cheating on her at these parties.

I immediately am trying to ease her nerves with things I’ve learned about grant over the past year or two. I started telling amy about how grant sent me the most heartwarming text about how much he loved her after the “Sarah situation” and how he never even acted differently when he would be over at my friends house, was always very respectful and kind about her.

Amy responds, and has no idea what I’m talking about.

She wasn’t aware of anyone named Sarah, and she had no idea that grant had been hanging out at my friends house late at night when she was asleep.

Almost immediately, she starts freaking out and asking me all of these questions,

I was horrified. I had hoped and hoped and hoped that grant brought up the “Sarah situation” to amy a long time ago. But he didnt.

And to my absolute shock, he never mentioned to amy that he was hanging out at my friends house at 1 am until 5 am.

I tell amy all of the details and apologize to her profusely for not telling her sooner.

We spent the rest of that night and the next morning talking, and she had made up her mind then and there, that she would be breaking up with grant.

Amy told me from the start she had been thinking heavily on the decision of breaking up with him, but I helped her make up her mind.

Later that day amy broke up with grant and gave her the details as to why. And soon after I get a text from grant.

“What did you tell amy.”

That text seriously made me reconsider everything I’ve thought or believed of grant. He didn’t ask me why, or try to understand the situation.

I told him exactly what I told her.

That I was trying to help amy understand that he would never cheat on her, because he’s always told me such good things. And that it was not my fault that he had been dishonest with her.

We argued back and forth and it ended in terrible terms. I tried to tell him that I had done nothing wrong, and that it was him. And he continued to mock me and say how it was my fault. And we blocked each other.

Leading up to today, James had taken it to “instagram notes” to state how he felt about me and how I was a “jealous and insecure bitch”

I texted James and told him to communicate about it instead of airing it out for everyone to know. And I learned that not only grant, but James, James’s entire family, and all of their friends had also blamed me for grant and Amy’s breakup.

Sorry for how long this was, I wanted to get every detail without saying any unnecessary details.

So, am I the asshole for “causing my friends to break up”

(Side note: Amy and I continue to be friends and she’s doing better. She does not blame me nor do any of our close friends.)