Context: I made a post about how it’s stupid that a female drag queen policed another male drag queen about using the word “fishy” in one of their verses because it’s “harmful” to cis woman. Even tho said drag queen was not referring to anyone specifically and the word isn’t even a slur

Please tell me I’m not crazy: this is fucking stupid right? Like am I going insane or what?? Because people were genuinely acting like this is dehumanizing and offensive and a sign of the patriarchy. I usually hate when people say to stop being “soft” or a “snowflake” but this is pushing it to the absolute most. Who gives a FUCK about the word fishy 🫠

They also were saying if I’m not a cis woman that I shouldn’t speak on the matter yet when I revealed that I am a woman I still couldn’t speak on it 💀💀💀

This is not an attack on women or anything, I’m just asking for some empathy on behalf of men. This is something that I have witnessed a lot of women do for fun, that I think they don’t realize feels pretty mean from the other perspective.

I have mostly female friends, and they are comfortable enough around me that I sort of become “one of the girls”, and they’ll often talk about dating and men around me. No problem at all. Where I get uncomfortable is when they pull up their dating apps (usually Tinder) and start swiping through. I wouldn’t have a problem with this, but several of my friends I have seen do this admit that they are just doing it for fun and either won’t message any of these people back, or will mess with people that message them. Not gonna lie, watching them say “Ew” or giggle as they scroll through totally normal looking and sometimes above average guys is super demoralizing.

I’d say I’m a pretty average looking dude, I already know I don’t stand out much, and seeing the dehumanization of these dating apps in real time made me want to give up on them completely. I don’t think some of you realize how bleak the situation is for the average dude on a dating app. The male and female experience are extremely different. For most women it’s like fishing with a massive trawling net, and for men it’s like fishing in the middle of the ocean with a single flimsy $10 rod.

And look, I understand y’all have to pick through a lot of trash guys who will swipe on literally anything, I’ve seen it firsthand. And I’d be happy to laugh at the stupid messages y’all get, all I’m asking is for some consideration about the other side of things. I’m quite sure you would feel objectified and self conscious if you saw a man doing the same. Also, I’m sure there are plenty of men that do it as well, and this message is the same for them.

Edit: Just to clear something up, my friends are very rarely mean-spirited. I wouldn’t be friends with them if they were. That’s why it’s such a surprise to me that they do this, and why I think there is a genuine disconnect here with these dating apps, because I know these aren’t bad people. And I’ve seen multiple unrelated women do this before, which makes me think it’s fairly common behavior, and that adds a whole other societal/cultural aspect to it.

There’s been a lot of incel and dating posts on here lately, and I just wanted to ask a question.

Context: I am not a successful 25M. I work a factory job, live in an apartment alone. My life sucks. I am a single man who does not want to be single. Some may say incel, but I do not feel I am owed anything, nor do I have any respect for the disgusting online community.

That being said- there’s a part of me that feels that women are immune from criticism. More specifically, relating to the double standard of well….. standards. If you are upset with a common viewpoint women have towards men, you are a Dorito-eating neckbeard that drinks Monsters and Mountain Dew.

For years, men were criticized for having unreasonable standards (that every woman looks like Megan Fox- thin, beautiful hair and face, certain build). Also, some men beg for women to be super submissive and subservient, which I find to be problematic. And it is a problem- porn and media has created unrealistic standards.

Yet- I feel the same way about both body and income shaming. As of now, women have unrealistic standards for men in a difficult economy (that men have a full head of hair, are tall, and that they make 2-3* the median individual income at least).

I’ve never understood why criticism is allowed to be directed one way but not the other. Shallow standards are a problem across society, both for men and women.

Maybe it’s because men dominated the media for the longest time, and now things have changed. It kind of feels like “two wrongs making a right”

Maybe I’m just seeing it this way because I am upset with my life. Maybe I just suck. Laugh- but I’m curious if anyone feels the same. Can we objectively criticize standards both ways without being called a feminazi, sexist, or incel?

I just feel like it’s sad that men who work important jobs, yet make 30-45k a year are not valued, by society overall nor by most women. That’s what upsets me the most.

Not to fufill a Reddit stereotype

I never liked the app even though I use it and especially the culture surrounding it. I’m excited for what’s to come after it.

I liked vine better

edit: turning off replies for this post, question has been answered :3 i'll leave it up because i recommended some subs i think the guys here might enjoy :D also i'm a man i'd really appreciate not being called a woman just because i said something you don't rly agree with idk

i'm just actually confused i swear i woke up one day and the majority of this subreddit was selfies asking how old they look, advice to look younger, and male loneliness stuff. maybe it's time to make a gen z selfies subreddit idk? also there are some pretty cool subreddits for men on here, i personally like guycry and menslib, i think the ppl posting about male loneliness here would benefit from checking them out. it's just a little off topic for the gen z sub i think idk? i might just be dumb though who knows

also i assure yall that the ppl who say millennials are aging better than gen z or whatever are just being mean for no reason, there is no way to look a certain age and your life isn't over if u start to lose ur teenage features. yall are all beautiful can we please stop contributing to made up tiktok beauty standards 🙁

It doesn't matter which religion, I'm just curious to know how everyone else grew up and whether they feel religion added or took a away from their lives.

I was reading a post about this girl whose church band was planning a walk out in response to their lead singer essentially being excommunicated for speaking out against the church falling into Christian Nationalism. I'd never even heard of Christian Nationalism until this year.

I personally was raised Protestant myself and still hold to those beliefs. However, I've noticed a lot of other Christians my age I meet were either homeschooled or otherwise heavily sheltered in some way. I miss the Christian families I was surrounded by in my youth. All our parents sent us to public school, we were all allowed to listen to secular music. My great-grandmother would clutch her imaginary pearls if I watched Halloweentown, but my mom didn't really care what I watched so long as it was age appropriate. I feel like for the most part, we all had relatively normal growing-up experiences that just happened to have a religious foundation. And most of us still believe in God. Now that I'm deep into my 20s, I hear stories from my peers about deep-seated trauma inflicted by The Church. There is no one my age at my local parish. And with the stories I've heard or read, I don't blame anyone for avoiding a place that caused you such harm. But I am curious to know how and when it became so extreme.

I was born in 2000, but I find this shit ridiculous. Anyone born 1/1/2000 to 12/31/2009 is a 2000s baby in my opinion, no matter how much of their childhood actually took place within that time. Babies born after ‘03 would still be children by the end of that decade instead of newborns. I can’t stand these gatekeeping posts.

The information that you are getting from these idiotic TikTok people and YouTubers is not valid advice on how to "get girls" or "how to start dating". You are simply falling for these stupid grifts. They are designed to supply maybe some okay information but largely not do a single thing but give these people money.

Hello everybody! I’ve been seeing a lot of discussion about third places recently, which is a good thing! Third spaces are critical for civic engagement and the health of democratic societies as a whole. However, these discussion are often littered with misconceptions about what qualifies as a third place.

The biggest one is that a third place must be a place where you don’t have to spend money. This is not true at all. A third place is simply any social space that isn’t home or work (first and second place respectively), free or not. A cafe is a third place. A bar is a third place. As are barber shops, theaters, gyms, etc.

That’s pretty much all I wanted to say. Thanks for reading!

Trying to help OP by offering a local college sub since it has people around her age. I mentioned the current sub is mostly millennials based on a poll conducted a bit ago, and people thought I just forgot that every other generation exists.

Gen Z wasn’t even mentioned and Gen X was still complaining about being forgotten ??? It’s just completely irrelevant

I am 25F and I remember being so into reading as a kid! My brother got me a Kindle and I used to read on it all the time as well. But once I started college, I lost touch with reading as much. Now I feel like I'm watching shows and listening to a crazy amount of podcasts but my attention span has reduced a lot and I can't read 20 pages without feeling sleepy. The low effort and opportunity to multi-task while watching shows or listening to podcasts has just made it so easy to give up reading. Has anyone here experienced something similar and had success getting back into reading? I just want to feel engrossed in a book like I used to!