Yeah, I've noticed that too as someone with ADHD that a lot of people, including ones who don't have ADHD have been using it as an excuse for a while now to avoid accountability and it does genuinely piss me off
You have the key word there: "managed." Maybe it's a relatively recent diagnosis and they haven't figured out her meds and/or had OT for long enough to be effective yet. Maybe they're in a community that's being hit harder than others by the shortage of ADHD meds.
Though if any of that is true, she shouldn't have been driving at her age. 🙄
As a fellow ADHD-er with a job and a family (well, a wife and cats 😅), I also absolutely despise people who use their neurodivergence as an excuse for shitty behaviour.
It delegitimises the very real issues we deal with every day.
FFS. Wanting to focus on school - which is a full-time job - is not “shitty behavior.”
I agree if the parents pressured Casey into letting Alana drive her car, then the parents need to step up and get a loan or whatever required to get Casey’s car repaired. But wanting a 16 year old with ADHD to focus on school and minimize distractions is not bad behavior on either the parents’ or Alana’s part.
It also doesn’t require constant medical intervention! You get on one of the few medications available, or come up with an alternative management, and carry on. Not sure why OP acts like it’s some crushing ongoing medical burden.
a lot of us are just now getting diagnosed in adulthood. in my case my adhd isnt managed and hasnt been since i was a kid, it disables me. combined with my cptsd and autism, im an invalid most days. i cant drive, struggle working, struggle taking care of myself, struggle doing anything around the house. i get triggered and have flashbacks accompanied by meltdowns daily.
i also cant afford meds or therapy rn to manage all of it! wonderful times we live in
My wife and our kids all have some levels of diagnosed ADHD or Autism.
All that means is that we need to have plans and systems in place for success. I know if it's "get shit done" weekend, I need a list. I know if we're going to do something out of the ordinary, I need to explain the process to my son in advance. That's life and that's parenting. Diagnoses allow a framework to better understand ourselves. They are not excuses.
My dude, is a reddit comment. You don't need a rundown of all of the intensive therapies, IEP meetings, and accomodations we've had to figure out the hard way.
Yes, there are absolutely people who deal with harder circumstances, but you are delusional if you don't think far too many people make excuses rather than solutions.
You literally said “all that means is we need plans and systems in place for success.”
Regardless, my point is just that the fact that you, an adult, have over the course what I assume based on your description is years figured out how to manage your family’s ADHD is great. But it doesn’t give you license to just assume that everyone you think isn’t managing it as well as you is just “making excuses.” Especially in this case, where the accommodation - “focus on the full-time job of school and don’t try to also carry a part-time extra job” - is an extremely reasonable one.
I agree Casey should be made whole, but if the parents judge that Alana shouldn’t be trying to manage a part-time job on top of school, that’s perfectly reasonable. It just means the parents need to be the ones that handle paying for Casey’s new car.
It's because the internet has destroyed everyone's attention spans, so everyone thinks they have ADHD now. Since everyone thinks that's all ADHD is, attention problems 🙄
That's not at all what she meant... she meant that the internet is distracting to everyone, which is wildly true. That doesn't invalidate your experience, it just illustrates that most people still don't understand ADHD, even other neurodivergent people.
I've always had ADHD, and I feel like that makes dopamine seeking behavior like doomscrolling MUCH harder - but the cause and effect is different. Dopamine addiction is not ADHD, but people with ADHD are more prone to dopamine addiction. Does that make sense?
Seriously though, the fact that shorts and tick tocks or whatever platform you prefer to watch stuff on can't even have a video without gameplay or random videos of food in the background to keep people's attention span is seriously alarming
I find the opposite to be true actually. Most people hear ADHD and roll their eyes. Like it’s not sometimes actually debilitating. They just say stuff like, try harder or just stop being lazy.
im literally disabled from my adhd, autism and cptsd but internet people think thats laziness and irl people like family dont believe any of it exists despite me being diagnosed. i wish “try harder” worked, but it doesnt.
And the exact reason for that is because it's been turned into an excuse and because so many people who don't actually have it pretend they do and act like jackass's while doing so. So it helps perpetuate the stereotype of people with ADHD just being lazy pricks which sucks for us who actually have it but I don't see it changing anytime soon.
I use it as an excuse or at least a reason like
“Sorry I leave cabinets open I have adhd and forgot”
NOT
“Sorry I CRASHED YOUR CAR?”
At 16 I ran into my neighbors car and had to pay $800 to replace the door. I missed soccer camp for two weeks that summer to take a nanny job.
This is the #1 reason why I don’t share with ANYONE (almost) IRL that I have severe ADHD and I am heavily medicated for it. Any time it comes up people chuckle and say it’s a BS disability precisely because it became so “fashionable” to have it lately and everyone uses it as an excuse. I hate it. Not only I have a debilitating disability but the entire world thinks of it as something “cutesy”.
Seriously. My son has ADHD and he’s a high functioning, working, traveling young man who graduated with high honors from college.
Was it easy? Nope. Can it be done? Yes.
It’s insulting to people (and those close to them) with ADHD when it’s used as an excuse for not being able to do everyday things.
The everyday thing Alana needs to do, and is doing, is her full-time job: school. Not wanting her to have both a full time job AND a part time job is not insulting to people with ADHD.
I have ADHD and went into IT. It actually allows me to be able to do many tasks at once and allows my mind to wander from Job to Job. This gives me an advantage.
It’s not an excuse it’s an explanation. If you truly have it you should know that. We have enough normies telling us to stop make excuses, it’s messed up to hear it from one of us, but this world treats us as if the way our brain works is a moral failing
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u/captainhyena12 5d ago
Yeah, I've noticed that too as someone with ADHD that a lot of people, including ones who don't have ADHD have been using it as an excuse for a while now to avoid accountability and it does genuinely piss me off