Once I start taking stimulant medication, I realized just how reckless I had been driving. At this point, I avoid driving if I forgot to take my medicine, it’s just too dangerous
My ADD makes me the worst driver on the planet. That, combined with some PTSD from an accident has made me realize I'm good with not driving. I sometimes wonder how people with brains like mine can do that every day and not be crippled with anxiety about killing someone. All it takes is one "oops, that wasn't the brake!" or "my bad, forgot about the parking brake!" To kill someone or yourself and those are the kinds of mistakes people like me are prone to
Driving is the perfect combination of stimulus for me to focus personally. There's a lot going on but it's all related to the same goal, so I find it really calms my brain, like an automatic hyper focus. Though there's definitely been many a time where the hyperfocus on the mechanics of driving safely means I forgot where I'm actually supposed to be driving too and I get halfway to my parents house before remembering I haven't lived there for years.
I also just have habits of checking everything several times before getting out of the car/taking off. I don't think I've ever managed to walk away from my car without second guessing whether I locked it and going back to double check.
At work I do my check list getting out of the car. 1. Phone ✔️ 2. lunch ✔️ 3. badge ✔️ 4. car key ✔️5. locked ✔️. Now I just go 12345. And I can go. Most days I do the 12345 twice.
Yea it's really interesting to see how polarizing driving is for ADHD. I love driving myself, I find it soothing. But I also understand why it can be overstimulating and scary for some.
One of my friends has ADHD. Her kids have ADHD. One of them really isn't capable of driving, and while it was a shitty conversation to have she had have it. Kid is in their 20's now, no license still. Admits mum was right and it was a responsible choice for her to not sign off on any if the paperwork. OP should consider telling Alana she can't drive until she can support herself and pay for it herself.
Also, teenagers aren’t the most responsible drivers. I’ve gotten into a few cat scrapes where the other driver was a teen who just made some stupid decision, like suddenly trying to merge into the lane I was in without looking, or deciding to do a left turn when it’s too late…
I'm one of the few people in my social circle with access to a car so I do a lot of chauffer runs taking my friends to and from places. They all know that if they need a ride on short notice, it'll take me a half hour to leave because I have to take my meds first. I flat out won't drive if I don't have my meds. It's not safe.
Eh, they’re called accidents for a reason, I don’t think having a single one means someone is incapable of ever driving. But the parents can’t have it both ways, she can’t both be incapable of working ANY job but also capable of driving a two ton speeding hunk of metal.
I feel that if you get limbs broken from a car accident, you had to be driving recklessly. I can’t see just one car generating that much force by itself, it had to be two cars going fast to do it. But I’m not an expert on car accidents, so take that with a grain of salt.
You can definitely break your arm and leg smashing into a tree or fire hydrant or any other object that won’t really care if a car smashes into it, if there was a second driver I feel like it would be pertinent to the story re: them covering costs for the other driver also contributing to their lack of funds or the other driver would be the one paying back if at fault. So my Occam’s razor tells me it was a single car accident
And even with ADHD, a job can be very different than school. In my case, I have always struggled to keep my schoolwork organized, but I did fine at my job.
Second this, adhd affects everything I do outside of work but for some reason once I clock in and go in to “work mode” I can focus on the tasks I need to do, schoolwork will always be a struggle because there’s no deadline/urgency to it
Yeah, the ADHD might just be an excuse for not caring about school? Very common at that age. I also have ADHD, but my being unwilling to study for tests on subjects I hated was a whole separate issue. I'm not saying ADHD isn't real and can't be a hindrance at times, but it can also be an excuse. I always did far better at focusing on work at that age than I ever did in a classroom.
I think you have no idea what you’re talking about. The worry is that a person with severe adhd can’t handle school AND a job on top of that, which is probably true. Course, she can get a job, but the load that comes with work and school would be very bad for her, and paying the car a little earlier is not worth her ruining her school performance.
I wasn’t allowed to get my learners permit until I’d gotten a job that could pay for the difference in insurance cost (for my parents adding me to their plan). This is so basic “parenting 101” that I am firmly on the older daughter’s side.
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u/donname10 6d ago
Exactly. She can get a drivers license she can definitely get a job